"... - and then one night, around midnight, on the corner
of Lexington and Fifty-second, when you have come really
to the point of losing faith in the existence of such a crea-
ture as you have been imagining for yourself even unto
your thirty-second year, there she is, wearing a tan pants
suit, and trying to hail a cab - lanky, with dark and abun-
dant hair, and smallish features that give her face a kind
of  petulant expression, and an absolutely fantastic ass."

                                          - Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint

 

---

 
                                Some Time This Century

---

Home
RSS Feed

---

Email:  thejotel@gmail.com
Become a friend: profile.myspace.com/thejotel  

---

THE JO-TEL IS:

Shark 

Hip E.

PETE

The Quail

Johnny D  

We get naked in bars way more than
you and you know what that means ...
We read Proust.

---

FEATURES*:

Jo-Tunes
The Review Review
Slang Dictionary
InDQs
Gay Hour
Touch The Monolith!
Hey Crackhead

* features are shit-hot

---

CURRENTLY READING:

Hip E.
 - Laurence Sterne, The Life and Opinions of
Tristram Shandy, Gentleman (1759-67)
 - Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint (1969)

Shark
 - Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum
 - Kevin Star, A History of California:
1840 - 1875. 
 - Paul Celan, Breathturn

PETE
 - Cormac McCarthy, Suttree

Johnny D.
 - Jean Luc d'Emo, Reel

The Quail
- Dave Eggers, What Is the What
- James Joyce, Ulysses
- Don Gifford, Ulysses Annotated 

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:

Hip E.
 - Neko Case, Blacklisted (2002)
 - Hip E., Pando Mix Rev. 0  (2007)
 - Rock Plaza Central, Are We Not Horses? (2006)

Shark
 - Richard Hell & the Voidoids, Blank
Generation  (1977)
 - The Kinks, The Village Green Preservation
Society (1968)
 - Silver Apples, Contact (1969)

PETE
 - Smashmouth, Greatest Hits vol. II (2004)

Johnny D
 - Television Personalities, And Don't the Kids
Just Love it (1980)
- The Blow, Paper Television (2006)
- The Magnetic Fields, 69 Love Songs Vol. 1,
2, & 3 (1999)

The Quail
- Carla Bruni
- Philip Glass, Glassworks (1982)

---

ARCHIVES:

September 04-1
September 04-2
October 04
November 04
December 04-1
December 04-2
January 05
February 05
March 05-1
March 05-2
April 05-1
April 05-2
May 05-1
May 05-2
June 05
July 05-1
July 05-2
August 05
September 05
October 05
November 05
December 05
January 06
February 06
March 06
April 06
May 06
June 06
July 06 
August 06
September 06
October 06
November 06
December 06-1
December 06-2
January 07

---

MEET THE JOUSE GUESTS*:

John
Patsy
Linda
Jay
The Puma
Liz
Gabe
Merz
Tello
Jaskot
Tara
Cutler
Bock (kind of)
Pliska
Mini-Shark
The Goose (Carrie)
Bain
Fritz
Yahoo Serious
Laura-Lee
Fabulous L-Breeze
Saki
Kristin
Booby
Joe
Jonelle
Becca
Rebecca P.
Snake (slithering this way and that)
Matranga
Raphael (Little Mex)
Neva
Annie
Kathleen
Molly (honorary)
P.J.
Paul S.
Emily
Brew-Dogg
Reid
Reid's Girl
Downs
Some Chick who passed out
 on Shark's couch
Ross
Cameron
Mary (slut)
Miklos
Romie
Simon
Kubow
Becky B.
Walloch
John the Hippie
Stickler
Anna
Andrea
Ben
Lucy (dog)
Wilson
Lauren
JohnPatsyLady A.
Lauren's B/f
Jenny B.
Paul James (infant)
Beck E.
Lisa Says
Ben
Nick Martin
Caitlin
Melissa
Sosia
Riley
Nicole
Reid's friend (chiefed heavily)
Virginia

* A Jouse-guest is someone who has
   spent the night at the Jo-tel. 

---

PAST PARTIES:

InDQ
Anti-Halloween
Anti-Anti Halloween
X-Mas in Mid-Nov
Beware the St. Ides of March

---

 SF WEATHER PIXIE*:

* Weather Pixie does not work

---

SHIT-HOT LINKS*:

Blogs

The PUMA
Rehab Star
The Sticklers
NoBrowMedia
Johnny D.
Becky B
Kyle
Cupcake Club
Evil Prom Queen
Johnwalsh
Load
Alex Blagg
The Phat Phree
Defamer
ThatsJustNotRight
The Fug Girls
Maddox
The Sports Guy
The SFist
Martin Van Buren
SuperModelPersonals
Thighs Wide Shut
Gawker
Gridskipper
The Superficial

Music

Pitchfork
Q
All Music
Coke Machine Glow
Stylus
Metacritic
Launch (for videos)
musicREVU (badass)

Scrabble

Play Free Online
Scrabble Blast
Word Lists
Mike Wolfberg

Hey Crackhead

Hey Crackhead

Pics

* Links updated never

---

 

I'm on the trail of a chocolate soda for
my wife.
                           - Charlton Heston (1924 - )

 

A Day at PETE's Blog-Writing Camp (11:30am)

"Alright, now let's review your submissions from last week. ... Rodney!"
"Hi, PETE."
"Rodney, you were onto something at the beginning of your post. That's why I started with you. You had a nice explanation regarding your favorite sports team. That's the type of thing people care about. But it needs to be longer. Much longer! I'm looking at what you turned in here and - well, it's only about 200 words. That's just not going to fucking cut it! The people want long posts. They don't want to just sit down and read some concise rant. They want sprawl! Fuck!"
"Let's move on. Cheryl!"
"Good morning PETE. How's your shoulder."
"Shitty. And along those lines here's an analogy. my shoulder: Cheryl's submission :: watching TV : my favorite thing."
"Umm.."
"Yea, so here's the deal. Your rant - very angry. Too angry. Get less angry. Like me. More funny. Let's review: more funny, less angry. Nice length though. I had to read it in two parts. I liked that."
"Motherfucking Tim!"
"Yes PETE."
"Shit, son. Best post of day. I particularly loved when you listed all the new CDs you burned from your friends. Nice long list, nothing angry. Very, very pertinent and interesting for the reader. Not at all pretentious. What can I say? You've got it. Shark and Hip could learn a lot from you. The rest of you are decidedly un-blog-worthy. However, the Union requires me to let you go to lunch, in spite of the performance this morning. But don't worry. By the time I'm done with you, you'll all be wearing gold-plated diapers."
"What does that MEAN?!"
"Shut up, Hip!"

Posted by Shark 4/15/05 4:34pm

My Password

... is not "elide". And my shoulder is fucking killing me. Seriously. Wow.

Posted by PETE 4/15/05 12:36am

Yet another HTML mix-up

Wow. A bad month for the Jo-Tel. March was good, as I predicted. April... shit. None of us have been what anyone would refer to as "on." My shoulder is all fucked up which has prevented me from doing any unnecessary typing (and even if I was typing I wouldn't really be writing anything funny). Hip E. has this Professional Engineers Exams tomorrow, so he's been studying basically every night with no time to be funny (Good luck on that by the way, Hipster). Shark won another moot court tournament, his last one of the year, to make it a clean 3 out of 3... but the prize was evidently not increased hilarity. The longer you know Shark, the more it becomes clear that anger and bitterness are really not that good a substitute for humor. And to top it all off, Hip E., after like 2 hours of fucking around, decided that he had "mastered" html, and that he was going to go in and "organize" our source code, after which it only took him a day, less actually, to fuck up the site probably the worst it's ever been fucked up. (See what I mean about anger not being a good substitute for humor?) Everything seems to be in order now however, and since no one's reading our site this month, nothing that's missing will be missed I'm pretty sure. God... I feel like the Lakers: one shitty season and suddenly everyone's a Clipper's fan!

Other shitty stuff this month:

1) None of us got a great tax refund. Last year I got like $3000. This year: $200. Everyone I tell is like "Hey, at least you don't owe money!" Yeah... great thanks. That makes me feel, lets see, what percentage of $3000 is $200... um, yeah, that makes me feel... 6.7% better. Do you have any idea how much useless shit I was planning on buying with that money? This for starters. Probably some new shoes for Shark to steal, maybe an entire large pizza from Za (Russian Hill inside joke. HOLLA!). What's $200 gonna buy me? A new phone? Speaking of...

2) I left my phone in a cab. Never done this before. The worst part is I wasn't even drunk. I was just tired. (Tired and pissed off. Pissed off because I had been dragged to Taco Tuesdays at Blue Light. I had never been before. I left after 5 minutes. I am scarred for life. I'd probably write about it but... got the shoulder). Too tired to remember the cab company or the driver or any of that shit. I called a few cab companies because I knew the cab was yellow, or yellowish but none I contacted had had a phone turned in. My contacting of cab companies was by no means exhaustive. I tired rather quickly of calling companies and, if I could actually get through to someone with even a limited grasp on the English language, asking them "Are your cabs yellow? No? Thanks." So I cut that short and called T-Mobile to suspend my service, and received what sounded at first like good news: because I've been with T-Mobile for over a year I was eligible for a phone "upgrade." Yes... "upgrade" is in quotes because I soon found out that "upgrade" meant "pay us lots of money for a new, good phone or pay us zero money and we'll give you the phone Michael Douglass uses in Wall Street." Really all I wanted was another phone with Bluetooth and since my old "obsolete" T610 has it you'd think that some of these new entry level phones would too... not the case. Every phone that had it was either $899 or the size of a Nalgene bottle (I only ysed that reference because there's one sitting on the desk in front of me and it's pretty fucking big). Well... either way I'm gonna need something so goodbye meager refund.

3) Johnny D got a girlfriend. I know... this is supposed to be a list of shitty things right? Obviously you didn't know Johnny D when he had a girlfriend. PUMA, back me up.

4) I changed my password on editme mere minutes ago and neglected to write it down so now I.. wait I think it's "elide". Anyhow, I'm currently logged in under Hip E.s account. Hip E. your new password is "overt".

But none of ths is the point. The point is that The Jo-Tel is resilient. April is fast approaching the half-way point and soon we can forget this lackluster first half. We're coming back baby. Tell your friends.

Posted by PETE's good shoulder 4/15/05 12:21am

Top Ten Funniest Legal Publication Titles

When penning titles for their articles, legal scholars have a proclivity to opt for what they consider to be witty, comical titles. The results vary. Some attempts are pathetic. For instance, in the area of criminal discovery there is a thorny line of cases dealing with the government's ability to issue subpoenas to a criminal defendant for his personal documents. Of crucial import to this question is the Supreme Court's decision in Fisher v. United States. This innocuous case name has led to some unfortunate titles, including: Fishing for Clarity in a Post-Hubbell World: A Proposed Solution to the Act of Production Quandary; and The Modern Act of Production Doctrine: Cutting Fisher's Tangled Line. Some, however, are legitimately funny. See infra (in ranked order):

10. J.C. Olson, You Make Me [Sic]: Confessions of a Sadistic Law Review Editor, 37 U.C. Davis. L. Rev. 1135 (2004)
9. Mary. Drennan, Duty of Care to the Intoxicated: The "Irish Approach", 4 S.D. Int'l L. Rev. 423 (2003)
8. Rachel Weisburg, Gregor Samson Awoke From Troubled Dreams One Day To Realize That He Had Been Turrned Into a Tax Attorney, 57 N.Y.U. L. Rev. 1 (1982)
7. Arnold B. Kanter, Ugly as SIN [Subcommittee on International Non-Discrimination], 17 Nova. L. Rev. 763 (1992)
6. Sarah Cole, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way To the Alternative Forum, 15 B.Y.U. L. Rev. 1 (1997).
5. Aside, Don't Cry Over Filled Milk: The Neglected Footnote 3 To Caroline Products, 136 U. Pa. L. Rev. 1553 (1988) ) (This one's a little inside. -Shark)
4. Susan Torcette, Caught in a Corporate Panty Raid! 40 House L. Rev. 867 (2003)
3. Erik S. Jaffe, "She's Got Betty Davis['s] Eyes": Assessing the Nonconensual Removal of Cadaver Organs Under the Taking and Due Process Clauses, 90 Colum. L. Rev. 528 (1990)
2. Gretchen Rubin & Jamie Heller, Restatement of Love (Tentative Draft), 104 Yale. L. Rev. 707 (1994)
1. Robert A King, The Tax Treatment of Boot Distributors in Corporate Reorganizations Under IRC 356(a)(2)(C)--Commissioner v. Clark: The Lastest or the Last Word? 11 Whittier L. Rev. 723 (1990)

Posted by Shark 4/13/05 5:30pm

Another Yankees Fan

From the blog of some random Chinese exchange student at Cal that I found by clicking "Next Blog" three times:

I played BASEBALL today!! Well, technically not baseball, just pitching and catching..still it is the first time I played baseball, and it is much harder than I thought it would be..(well it is just throwing and catching right? even kids can do it) and obviously i am wrong...man it sometimes hurts ur finger when you catch it..(like Momentum=Inpetus?)...and it is so hard to throw it fast enough so that it won't fall to the ground before the other person catches it though.. I don't think my arm is strong enough to do that, so have to use my physics knowledge to try to throw at 45 degrees to at least get to my partner. Ha..sorry my partner, I suck!!

To be clear, I'm not making fun of this dude. I'm sure I would be really bad at Communism on my first try. No, but seriously I wish I had studied harder in college. Honestly.

Posted by Hip E. 4/13/05 9:34am

Hornets? Fan-TAS-tic!!

The JO-Tel would like to congratulate our good friend M.J. Miklos on his graduation from Marine Flight School last week (maybe it was two weeks ago... I'm bad with dates). Furthermore, we'd like to congratulate him on getting his first choice of both aircraft (The F/A-18 Hornet, see above picture, although I don't really know enough about planes to say that this one is the exact same as what he'll be flying. I'm sure the PUMA will correct me if I've err'd) and station (he'll be flying out of Miramar in beautiful San Diego, California). Suffice to say, Miklos just became my friend with the coolest job by far (by fucking far. Cooler than an NFL linebacker, cooler than an AD for Desperate Housewives, cooler that being a receptionist for Manpower, cooler than basically anything).

To illustrate why I have set up this little One Act:

Scene: a bar

Jude Law [to girl at bar]: Hi, I'm Jude Law. You may know me from such films as Alfie, Gattica, and The Talented Mr. Ripley. Also, I was voted "Sexiest Man Alive" by whatever magazine does that award. I have a British accent. Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: No, but you can get the hell out of my face, Jude Law.

Jude Law: Blimey!

50 Cent: Hey Girl. I'm 50 Cent. My first album went platinum 12 times and my new one looks poised to top that. I made 50 million dollars in 2004. I have an 18-bedroom house that used to belong to Mike Tyson. Plus, I'm fucking HUGE and cut to shreds and I've survived 9 gunshot woulds, 3 or 4 of which were to the face. Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: Fuck no! Next time why don't you try using a pick-up line I HAVEN'T heard a million times.

50 Cent: Where's Young Buck? He must console me! Oh, you are a cold hearted woman, girl.

Miklos: Hi, I'm Mike Miklos. I fly jets for the Marines. Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: How about instead you just do me right here, on this bar. And then you can do my friends.

Miklos: Hey! That sounds great! Fan-TAS-tic!

FIN

That's why.

So Miklos, now would be as good a time as any for us to have our discussion about how I can successfully lie to girl and tell them I fly jets for the Marines too. Please?

Posted by PETE 4/7/05 6:59pm

NCEES Policy Regarding The Use Of Mechanical Pencils

The National Council of Examiners for Engineering and Surveying (NCEES) has adopted a policy which requires all examinees to use the mechanical pencils NCEES provides at the examination site. You can not use your own personal writing instrument. Examinees must use NCEES-issued mechanical pencils only. These pencils will be distributed at the examination site. The pencil will be pre-loaded with 0.7-mm HB lead. This is the only writing instrument allowed. Examinees may NOT bring lead or erasers. If additional lead or an eraser is needed during the examination, raise your hand and a proctor will issue and additional pencil. After the exam, you man keep this pencil with our compliments. This policy applies to all examinees taking any PE examination.

Posted by Hip E. 4/6/05 2:23pm

ha HA!

This is NOT boring. This is one of those few things where I says to myself I says "Hip E., why the hell didn't you think of that?" That also happens with some things that I did think of, but then forgot.

Posted by Hip E. 4/6/2005 11:00am

Link Added Removed

I added removed a link to [a web page], in hopes that he would in turn link to the Jo-tel, thereby giving us street cred in San Diego.

Also, I figured out why I'm so boring these days. What with this test I'm about to take, and the poor marks I earned on my Annual Review in February, I haven't come to work hungover in like two months. Well, once this test is over on Friday April 15, all that is going to change.

Posted by Hip E. 4/6/2005 9:37am (updated at 10:39am)

Good Old-Fashioned Rant: "Don't Talk To Me"

Posted by PETE 4/6/05 2:06am

Thanks Michael

Disclaimer: this post isn't particularly funny so feel free to skip it if you're strapped for time. It is, however funnier and vastly more interesting that anything you'll find on Craig's blog. He really should've quite while he was ahead.

------

My boss retired last week after 27 years at the San Francisco Opera. What can I say about Michael but that he was just about the coolest boss one could ever hope for (example: he found out about this blog and didn't fire me. In fact, he's a semi-regular reader now. He even thought the now-slightly-infamous high toilet seat post was funny and told me so). As I said in my speech at his retirement dinner, he's basically ruined my chances of ever succeeding in the corporate world because after a year and a half working for him I would self-destruct almost immediately under any of the sociopath bosses some of my friends have.

Basically Michael was a good boss for all the reasons most bosses are: intelligence, loyalty to his employees (which in his case is interchangeable with "friends"), sense of humor, receptiveness to ideas, readiness to admit fault and to not pass blame, sense of humor, generosity and the big one which seems to be so woefully lacking in most who manage to attain positions of authority: capacity for rational thought.

But the main reason he was such a great boss is that he was just cool. I mean, the guy is 60 plus years old and he parties harder now that I ever have, or ever will party. His stories from the 60s and 70s are just insane and awesome and he didn't hesitate for a second to tell me any of them. Shit, his stories from any given weekend are pretty awesome. He was so cool in fact that I'm having trouble thinking of stories I can actually tell without getting him in trouble... seriously (this should be immediately understandable to anyone who knows me and knows what I think is cool. See: this blog).

If I ever find myself in a position to be anyone's boss (not likely) I will adopt the following cues from Michael's managerial style:

1) Hire based on personality and gut instinct and who you think will fit in best with other employees, not based on a piece of fancy paper. Michael understood what so many other people don't: resumes don't mean shit and neither do interviews if personalities are going to clash. Everyone has someone they hate at work that I know... except me. Michael is the main reason why.

2) Be a friend before a boss. The reason I never called in sick when I was feeling sick, or the reason why I was never once too hung over on a week-day to function (surprisingly true), or why I've ever only been really late one time wasn't because I was ever afraid of getting fired, but because I didn't want to disappoint Michael, just like I hate disappointing any other friend. That's how it should work.

3) Never yell. If you have to scream someone's head off you probably should've fired them already (that is, if they suck. If screaming is the first way you as a boss approach a problem, then you suck as a boss and should stop being so passive aggressive you fucking dick).

4) Have two glasses of wine with lunch most days.

5) Don't take shit from people who have no business giving it to you.

6) Keep chocolate handy at all times.

7) Cultivate an environment where the dirtier the joke, the better. One of the greatest things about my office is that you can say basically whatever the hell you want. On any given day I expect at least one dirty joke via email from Michael and probably a picture of a car painted to look like a huge vagina or something. To put things in perspective, he once laughed at this joke (albeit it was prefaced by a "I thought of this joke but I'm going to hell for it" line and it was like a week after the initial event but still):

"I got curious and watched that Nick Berg [guy who was beheaded in Iraq] video last night because I just felt sort of, I needed to see it you know? I didn't really know what to expect but really, it was pretty sickening. I wound up getting nauseous and at one point I even had to stop masturbating..."*

8) Retire early.

9) Hire a great replacement. Mark, my new boss, is a great guy and Michael really fought for him when the corporate arm of the opera was thinking about hiring a new manager from outside the company, which would really have been a mistake, especially for anyone who knows Mark, and how great of a manager he's going to be.

So congratulations Michael on your retirement. Since I forgot to sign your big card at the party, I'll just say that it was nice to have a boss that made you want to come to work, instead of the shit deal that lots of people get. And thanks for being a good friend. And thanks for all the sweet neck ties.

*In case you're curious, here's the one joke that I can remember telling that bombed big time in my office. I was talking about a sign being Day-Glo Orange and someone turned around and said "Did you just say 'Dago Orange"? I said "No. I said 'Day-Glo'. Dago Orange is a color too though. It's a lot like Day-Glo, only greasier." I should point out that I am Italian but this joke did NOT get a laugh. Too bad, because I still think it's pretty funny.

Posted by PETE 4/6/05 12:50am

Hi Craig

The dude who made craigslist.org has a blog.

Seems like a cool dude...

Posted by Hip E. 2:04pm 4/05/05

If Top Gun Were An Air Force Movie

Tom Cruise : Ben Stiller :: You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling : Everybody Dance Now

via (shudder) Andew Sullivan

Posted by Hip E. 1:37pm 4/5/05

Baseball!

The White Sox won their opening game 1-0 yesterday, which means they're 1-0 (I would take this opportunity to talk shit to Cleveland Indian fans but I'm pretty sure they don't exist. "Cleveland? Is that the team with Wesley Snipes? I LOVE them!). This could be the only day I feel good about the White Sox all year so I'm going to. As an added bonus, the Twins lost, which is like a Sox victory in bizarro world, just as good. I suppose now would be a good time to mention that I'm going to be in Chicago for the Cubs/White Sox at Wrigley Field. My home homeboys got tickets to all three games of the weekend series. For a Chicago baseball fan such as myself, who attended a Windy City Classic (before interleague play, the Cubs and White Sox used to play each other for fun and bragging rights mid-season) when he was 8, but has never attended an actual game between the two teams that counts... AND at Wrigley... put it this way: when faced with the choice of accepting tickets to these games or a blowjob from Scarlett Johansson, I'd take the blowjob, but I'd be crying the whole time. To go to these games I will be missing my only cousin's graduation from college... my only cousin who is basically like a sister to me, However, as a sister, I'm sure she'll understand.

I guess I could also explain here my odd Chicago baseball allegiance. Basically in Chicago, the Cubs are the Northside team, the Sox are Southside. That’s the general rule. However, if you live on the West Side, then you have more of a choice. I am from the West Side. I chose the Sox because of Eazy-E. My friends are basically split, with the Cubs having a slight advantage. Generally though in Chicago, as is the case in most two team cities, if you like one team you must hate the other vehemently. With me, that’s not the case. I can’t hate the Cubs for one reason: Wrigley. With Cubs fans, it’s easy to project pure hatred towards the Sox. If you’re not a Sox fan, there’s really nothing to like. We have New Comiskey (I will never call it U.S. Cellular Field or whatever the fuck they renamed it this year), the shittiest, most sterile, uninteresting park in baseball. It’s like watching baseball in a hospital… an ugly hospital which just so happens to be in the middle of one of the worst areas in the city (Think Oakland, but uglier and without a perennial pennant hopeful). We fucked up royally by building our new stadium too early so we got nothing: no retractable roof, no river walk, no swimming pool, no McCovey Cove, no nothing. It blows, I hate watching games there and I’ll be the first to admit it.

But Wrigley… oh Wrigley. Wrigley is the best park in baseball and any honest person, having seen a game there will freely admit as much. Pac Bell (SBC, whatever) is beautiful, but no tradition. Yankee Stadium has the fucking Yankees… but if it had the Mets it would’ve been torn down 20 years ago (It’s ugly. Yes. Shut up. It is). But Wrigley… man I can’t describe how fun watching baseball is there. But a couple main things: 1) last time I checked there was a 6-beer per trip limit at the bars. One person can leave the bleachers and come back with 6 fucking beers. Also, the beer is Old Style, Chicago’s own cheap and shitty macrobrew, which also happens to be the best cheap shitty macrobrew in the world, and the official beer of Wrigley. Tastes like summer, tastes like Chicago, Old Style. Also, on account of the whole “all the alcohol you want” rule, you’re almost guaranteed to get at least one drunken idiot to charge the field (if you go to a Saturday double-header, you can be more sure of this happening than 27 outs). Sometimes these guys are quick too. They’ll stay out there for a while, bobbing and weaving through security guards, everybody going crazy, all the players laughing… it’s great. I’ve thought about doing it a few times… almost worth the rather tame $800 fine.

Also, something about Wrigley brings out the hottest baseball fans in the US, and if you ever watch the cameraman on WGN, the Cubs TV station, he fucking knows it better than anyone. Every commercial break, every pause in the action, in between pitches, he’ll have his camera trained on some chick in a tank top (Famous Harry Caray quote: [upon seeing one chick on camera with rather large breasts] “That’s one double-play I’d like to turn.” HC was a dirty old man).

Then after the game, instead of dodging bullets and Street Sheet vendors (Comiskey), you can just walk to any number of great Wrigleyville bars and continue to get hammered on post-game specials. Even if the Cubs lost, it doesn’t matter: better specials.

Well, I have to get ready for work, but I’m really excited about going home for these games. Merz, Ansell, Tello, whoever was in charge of getting these tickets, I owe you sexually.

Posted by PETE 4/5/05 9:13am

April Fools

Posted by The Jo-Tel 4/1/05 11:03pm

R.I.P Mitch Hedberg

Posted by PETE 4/1/05

The Jo-Tel...

... is all about subtlety. Happy April

Posted by PETE 4/1/05 10:33pm