jo-tel - Jo-Tunes

A fortnight ago, the Lord, our God, spoke into mine ear. "Hot freaks, Shark!" he spoke, "thou shalt pen a surmisal of the music which [sic] thou hast listened to and it shall be good." So I set out to fulfill my Lord's bidding and erect, under the every vigilent watch of His all-seeing Eye, a unique Web site hyperlink dedicated to the task of foisting self-righteous music reviews upon the uninterested masses. Unfortunately, the Almighty God (in His infitinite wisdom) did not give me much to work with:

M. Ward Transfigurment of Vincent
Keith Fullerton Witman Multiples
Destroyer Destoyer's Rubies
Xiu Xiu A Promise
Drive Like Jehu Yank Crime
Architecture in Helsinki Finger Crossed
Guided By Voices Alien Lanes
Liars Drums Not Dead
The Mountain Goats The Cornoner's Gambit
Gas Pop
The Hold Steady Almost Killed Me

Comments:

Kanye West�- The College Dropout [8.1]

Such a great CD.� How good is it?� I like a song called "Jesus Walks."� Therefore, it is�a great CD.

You can see from Shark's rating scheme that he holds some musical preferences.

A great review stolen from someone named Shortstop15, professional loser on Amazon.com:

'Smell of Our Own'
Gay Canadian folk music. Much better than it sounds.

Jason Forrest AKA Donna Summer - The Unrelenting Songs of the 1979 Post Disco Crash

It's Good.�

All those classic rock CDs that are languishing in your Case Logic that you never listen to now that you found out that they're actually still making great new music.� You still know they're great, but you just can't bring yourself to actually take them out and play them.� Your friends would think you're not cutting-edge anymore, that you're stuck in the past.� Besides, you really want to like Les Savy Favs or something and you know it's going to take you at least three more spins to get into it.� Who has the time to reminisce?

Well turn that frown upside-down.� Jason Forrest is like a sexy T.V. chef who comes to your apartment and goes through your pantry, finding all the forsaken fixins and in the next segment whipping them together to create a zesty new dish.� [Remember when Taco Bell tried to get "Zesty!" to be the new cool pop culture catchphrase after Budweiser's wildly successful "WAASSSSSUUUUUUUPPP?!?" thing petered out?� That was pathetic.]� All the old stuff that you stared at on the shelf for five minutes every week before giving up and going to the grocery store for microwave pizza is in there, but now you actually want to eat it.�

That's what this CD is like.� If you like the finer things of classic rock and you like urgency of clicky, driving electronic beats, you will love this album.�

-Hip E.