"... - and then one night, around midnight, on the corner
of Lexington and Fifty-second, when you have come really
to the point of losing faith in the existence of such a crea-
ture as you have been imagining for yourself even unto
your thirty-second year, there she is, wearing a tan pants
suit, and trying to hail a cab - lanky, with dark and abun-
dant hair, and smallish features that give her face a kind
of petulant expression, and an absolutely fantastic ass."
- Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint
Some Time This Century
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THE JO-TEL IS:
Shark
Hip E.
PETE
Johnny D
We get naked in bars way more thanyou and you know what that means ...
We read Proust.
FEATURES*:
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Slang Dictionary
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* features are shit-hot
CURRENTLY READING:
Hip E.
- Laurence Sterne, The Life and Opinions of
Tristram Shandy, Gentleman (1759-67)
- Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint (1969)
Shark
- Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum
- Kevin Star, A History of California:
1840 - 1875.
- Paul Celan, Breathturn
PETE
- Cormac McCarthy, Suttree
Johnny D.
- Jean Luc d'Emo, Reel
The Quail
- Dave Eggers, What Is the What
- James Joyce, Ulysses
- Don Gifford, Ulysses Annotated
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:
Hip E.
- Neko Case, Blacklisted (2002)
- Hip E., Pando Mix Rev. 0 (2007)
- Rock Plaza Central, Are We Not Horses? (2006)
Shark
- Richard Hell & the Voidoids, Blank
Generation (1977)
- The Kinks, The Village Green Preservation
Society (1968)
- Silver Apples, Contact (1969)
PETE
- Smashmouth, Greatest Hits vol. II (2004)
Johnny D
- Television Personalities, And Don't the Kids
Just Love it (1980)
- The Blow, Paper Television (2006)
- The Magnetic Fields, 69 Love Songs Vol. 1,
2, & 3 (1999)
The Quail
- Carla Bruni
- Philip Glass, Glassworks (1982)
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June 05
July 05-1
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August 05
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October 05
November 05 December 05
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February 06
March 06
April 06
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June 06
July 06
August 06
September 06
October 06
November 06
December 06-1
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January 07
MEET THE JOUSE GUESTS*:
JohnPatsy
Linda
Jay
The Puma
Liz
Gabe
Merz
Tello
Jaskot
Tara
Cutler
Bock (kind of)
Pliska
Mini-Shark
The Goose (Carrie)
Bain
Fritz
Yahoo Serious
Laura-Lee
Fabulous L-Breeze
Saki
Kristin
Booby
Joe
Jonelle
Becca
Rebecca P.
Snake (slithering this way and that)
Matranga
Raphael (Little Mex)
Neva
Annie
Kathleen
Paul S.
Emily
Brew-Dogg
Reid
Reid's Girl
Downs
Some Chick who passed out
on Shark's couch
Ross
Cameron
Mary (slut)
Miklos
Romie
Simon
Kubow
Becky B.
Walloch
John the Hippie
Stickler
Anna
Andrea
Ben
Lucy (dog)
Wilson
Lauren
JohnPatsyLady A.
Lauren's B/f
Jenny B.
Paul James (infant)
Beck E.
Lisa Says
Ben
Nick Martin
Caitlin
Melissa
Sosia
Riley
Nicole
Reid's friend (chiefed heavily)
Virginia
* A Jouse-guest is someone who has
spent the night at the Jo-tel.
PAST PARTIES:
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Beware the St. Ides of March
SF WEATHER PIXIE*:
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Hey Crackhead
I'm on the trail of a chocolate soda for
my wife.
- Charlton Heston (1924 - )
THE JO-TEL ... the Pickle to your Chum | Show Menu |
Killing Time
I'm at my house about to leave for the airport. Portland is the destination. Today is the day that Pliska and Sweet Carrie become one, united in the bonds of Holy Matrimony. My bags are packed. My ticket is purchased, so as to avoid the disaster that surrounded my last planned vacation. And my heart is full.
Ladies in the Portland area, be wary. The men of the Jo-Tel shall make your collective bodices quiver with delight. Resist my pink dress shirt... if you dare.
(Surprisingly I'm not drunk right now.)
Posted by PETE 2006-07-29 03:54:27
Ninth Street Exit Now Deemed by Shark To Be "Hardly Ever" the Best Exit To Use To Get to the Jo-tel
Oh how the mighty have fallen. Ninth Street Exit, you used to hold a monopoly on the Jo-tel freeway exit market. Anyone venturing to these shores would be immediately directed to choose you to exit the freeway with. I myself, daily commuter that I am, would unthinkingly select you to guide me toward Ninth Street ... and home. Now, however, I deem you virtually obsolete as a means to get to the Jo-tel. Your utility is reduced to an anachronism. I have realized that the Fremont Street Exit is superior in nearly every facet. It is a shorter distance. Obviously. But when the correct route is taken (namely, left on First, cross Market, left on Pine, right on Sansome, left on Broadway) the pesky downtown traffic that once discourage me from taking the Fremont Street Exit can be neatly circumvented. So, now, you're largely out Ninth Street Exit, except in exceedingly rare circumstances when there is severe traffic in North Beach and no traffic on the extra stretch of the 80 that separates you from the delightful Fremont Street Exit. I will miss so much: passing the Stud, the Chevron gas station (replete with mindblowing car wash (see below)), the T-Loin. But, alas, I have been wooed by another and my infatuation is passionate and consuming. We'll always have Paris.
Posted by Shark 2006-07-28 21:19:10
Confessions
For roughly the first 17 years of my life, I thought Lionel Richie and Little Richard were the same person. This would be bad enough... if I didn't admit that this belief was held in spite of the fact that I had seen both men on television at different times. Every time I saw Lionel Richie on tv, I would think to myself "Whoa! That Little Richard guy aged badly" and every time I would see Little Richard I would think either "Whoa, that Lionel Richie guy got a whole shit load of plastic surgery recently," or "That must been an old picture."
I began to suspect something was wrong in high school... but I never went deeper.
Posted by PETE 2006-07-26 23:34:27
Multiple Choice
A man is on a trip to Los Angeles. On Sunday, he and some friends drive in his bright blue economy rental car to Old Town Pasadena to screw around at his old high school stomping grounds. He parks his car at a meter and doesn't put any money in because as I mentioned IT'S A SUNDAY. When he returns, the man notices a 30 thirty dollar parking ticket tucked under his wind-shield wiper ON A SUNDAY. But again, said man, known for his sexual prowess, was driving a rental car. He should:
(a) pay the ticket because cheating is for poo-poo heads
(b) not pay the ticket because the Pasadena traffic department will never be able to know that it was him because the license plates are registered to the rental place
(c) register his actual, non-rental car that he drives in San Francisco for reasons unrelated to the above incident, including: IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE GETS PULLS OVER ON ROUTE TO AN IMPORTANT MEETING AND GETS SLAPPED WITH AN UNWIEDLY TRAFFIC TICKET THAT WILL MAKE HIM ANGRY AND CAUSE HIM TO LASH OUT OF HIP E FOR SOMEONE GODDAMN THING OR ANOTHER.
(d) both (a) and (c)
(e) both (b) and (c)
(f) both (a) and (b) (only possible in Bampf, Canada)
Posted by Shark 2006-07-26 20:59:23
Actual List of Items Being Purchased By the Indie Chick In Front of Me At Safeway at 10:30 On Saturday Night, In Its Entirety
- 6-pack of Moosehead beer
- 3-pack of Durex condoms
- Elmer's glue
Posted by The Quail 2006-07-25 12:32:01
Where the Hell is Everybody?
I'm at the Jo-tel, by myself, and I've been cleaning for like 6 hours. How did that happen? The dishes aren't even done. I need to eat some breakfast.
Hip E. 2006-07-22 14:36:31
Proust Makes Me Want To Be Interesting Again
Time Regained:
...this life of mine, the memories of its sadnesses and its joys, formed a reserve which fulfilled the same function as the albumen lodged in the germ-cell of a plant, from which that cell starts to draw the nourishment which will transform it into a seed long before there is any outward sign that the embryo of a plant is developing, though already within the cell there are taking place chemical and respiratory changes, secret but extremely active. In the same way my life was linked to what, eventually, would bring about its maturation, but those who would one day draw nourishment from it would remain ignorant, as most of us do when we eat those grains that are human food, that the rich substances which they contain were made for the nourishment not of mankind but of the grain itself and have had first to nourish its seed and allow it to ripen.
Albumen! I'll tell you, the middle 2000 pages of In Search of Lost Time really kind of lagged, but boy does he finish strong. Let's go eat some mushrooms.
Posted by Hip E. 2006-07-20 08:44:34
iTunes Caveat, Part Way Too Many
It's fucked up.
-Thom Yorke, "Black Swan"
Unlike everything else I say, this is important. And it has to do, of course, with iTunes. On the way to work I was listening to Hip E's meticulously (and quite nicely) labeled burned copy of Thom Yorke's The Eraser. After a few songs I realized that the tracks were burned in the wrong order and I immediately knew what the hell was wrong. Often iTunes will arrange the songs on your playlist in an utterly arbitrary order for no apparent reason other than to frustrate you and the artists whose music you are attempting to enjoy. It is CRUCIAL to always check to the right, in the column that lists the track number (i.e. not the first column that has the number that does not always match with the track number) to make sure that the songs are ordered by track. If not, then just click at the top of the column and the songs will properly arrange themselves.
I think it's a terrible reality for many artists in this age of downloaded albums that many listeners are hearing the songs on their albums in the wrong order. As I was listening to Hip E's scrambled The Eraser this morning, Hip E's words just echoed through my head, "I don't really think that the Thom Yorke album is that great…" Regardless of what you think of that album, you can agree that it deserves to be heard as the artist intended and evaluated accordingly.
Posted by Shark 2006-07-19 16:02:17
Drive-Thru Car Wash Experience Blows My Damn Mind
Like many new entrants into the work force, I often have trouble completing routine errands. My car is unregistered because, come on, how the hell am I going to ever make it to the DMV? Washing my car is another problem. I've owned it since October and, prior to my mind-blowing experience at the Chevron Drive-Thru Car Wash, it had been washed a paltry two times. It was at its height of filth when, on my way home, I pulled into the Chrevron for gas. I could barely see out of my windshield because my car was so dirty, but I noticed a sign for a car wash and ... yes, I believe it says only five dollars ... well then it must be something where you just pay to use their hose and soap, I thought. As I drive up, a crusty beach-bum looking dude takes my five dollars and tosses me a paper towel (on the ride home I realized that said paper power is treated with chemicals with which to clean your dashboard, AMAZING!) and directed me to drive onto the track. Nice. Then I went through and watched as wondrous rubber arms cleansed my filthy car. But then I started to get a bit discouraged because I realized that my car was now wet and the end of the tunnel was in sight. This probably means, I'll have to dry it myself, I thought, which I won't do because I'm lazy and the car will end up looking streaky and worse than it did before. But then came the heart-stopping exegesis of the huge heat dryer. OMG that shit was awesome. In five minutes and for five measly bones I cleaned my goddamn car spotless. Next time I'm definitely doin' it on 'shrooms.
Posted by Shark 2006-07-18 18:42:11
Pants-Poopingly Good
Near the one minute mark of this song "Minute by Minute" by Girl Talk on their Night Ripper album that Shark got, I almost had to just let it go, because the guy (or girl, or band) goes from Ying Yang Twins and Mike Jones singing "Badd" ("I need a dime that's top of the line (cute face slim waist with a big behind)") over the music from Warren G's "Regulators", via a transition that I think might start with a scratched up piece of "The World at Large" by Modest Mouse and ending with a snippet of Neutral Milk Hotel's "Holland, 1945", to the bassline from "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane combined with the beat from Juelz Santana's "There It Go (The Whistle Song)". In other words, get this album and play it at a party.
Posted by Hip E. 2006-07-18 17:50:31
Johnny D, You're Out of the Band
You heard me, Johnny D. Out. Two weeks ago I provided you with the lyrics for an album called Seven Against Thebes to be released under the tentative "18 Fructidor" moniker. At that time I politely requested that you provide me with approximately eight hooks, ranging from arena-sized to modestly styled. Last week I asked you to pull your own weight in this goddamn band by, at the very least, generously generating two hooks by today (Monday). As of the date of this post I have received exactly zero hooks from you - not to mention (god forbid) a catchy melody or bass line. Plus, you've brazenly added insult to injury by admittedly NOT HAVING READ THE LYRICS TO THE ALBUM BY "OUR" BAND (EXCEPT FOR THE FIRST SONG, WHOSE LYRICS MOST LIKELY INADVERTENTLY CAUGHT YOUR EYE WHEN YOU OPENED THE ATTACHMENT). Nor have you made any headway in procuring instruments or recording equipment for our band. This is usually an important aspect of the music-making process. So, Johnny D, you're now looking at a walking, breathing solo artist. I didn't want to do this, I had high hopes. But you've forced me to, Johnny D … or should I call you John Lennon. And we all know what that makes Lady A.
Posted by Shark 2006-07-17 15:36:44
Shit-Hot Music Reviews to F You in the A
Three solid summer albums:
Guillemots
Through the Window Pane
(Universal; Unreleased)
Rating: 8.0
Stylus Magazine has been rocking this band hardcore for the past few weeks. My conclusion: very good. Careful though, portions may strike you as Coldplay-y. But on repeated listenz the undeniable pop chops of this band lift everything high enough that it becomes all likeable in the hood. And, also, I don't know how to pronounce their name. But, then again, for most of life I didn't know how to pronounce 'sepulcher', 'Guillaume Apolliniare', or 'chimera'. So ... ya.
Figurines
Skeleton
(Control Group; 2006)
Rating: 7.6
Dude sounds like Modest Mouse's Issac Brook, okay? Let's move past this. This is not Modest Mouse. The songs are much tighter, less drifty, and more traditionally indie that the Mouse's up-front meaning of life mediations. It's the strength of the pure, indie rock craftmenship of songs like "The Wonder", "Ghost Towns", and "Release Me on the Floor" that carriers this album. Ultimately, however, perhaps it is The Figurines' mock Pacific-Northwest-indie stance (Figurines are from Norway) that deprive their album of the sincerity and originality of voice that might propel it into that Modest Mouse terrain that they so skillfully emulate.
Grizzly Bear
Yellow House
(Warp; Unreleased)
Rating: 8.5
The Prefatory Quote: A Fictional Conversation
GRANDPA: What's that racket in your ear.
YOUTH VISITING GRANDPA'S HOUSE (removes headphones): Horn of Plenty by Grizzly Bear
GRANDPA: I'll give you a horn of plenty!
The Abstract
Quiet bedroom rock makes big splash. Sounds bigger than your pillow on a humid Saturday morning.
The Digression
How many of you share this childhood experience of mine: During the school week, when I woke up, all I wanted was for it to be the weekend so that I could sleep in. But then, when the weekend came along, I found myself waking up earlier on Saturday out of giddy exhilaration for the prospect of getting a phat bowl of Lucky Charms and watching cartoons for two and half hours. According to Dave Berman, sleeping is the only love. To me: fun is the only sleep.
The Thesis
Yellow House is one of the best albums I've heard this year because it grabs you so unusually tightly with such delicate fingers.
The Epilogue
Epilogue
In the dawn there is a man progressing over the plain by means of holes which he is making in the ground. He uses an implement with two handles and he chucks it into the hole and he enkindles the stone in the hole with his steel hole by hole striking the fire out of the rock which God has put there. On the plain behind him are the wanderers in search of bones and those who do not search and they move haltingly in the light like mechanisms whose movements are monitored with escapement and pallet so that they appear restrained by a prudence or reflectiveness which has no inner reality and they cross in their progress one by one that track of holes that runs to the rim of the visible ground and which seems less the pursuit of some continuance than the verification of a principle, a validation of sequence and causality as if each round and perfect hole owed its existence to the one before it there on that prairie upon which are the bones and the gatherers of bones and those who do not gather. He strikes fire in the hole and draws out his steel. Then they all move on again.
- Blood Meridian
Does anyone know what this means?
Posted by Shark 2006-07-14 07:09:51
Piper at the Gates of Dusk: A Requiem
Syd Barrett, founding member of Pink Floyd, died today. Barrett wrote all the songs on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, save one ("Take Up Thy Stethascope and Walk", written by Roger Waters). One and half years later, at the time the band released their second album, Saucerful of Secrets, Barratt contributed only one song: the delicate "Jugband Blues":
It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear
That I'm not here.
And I never knew the room could be so thick
And I never knew the room could be so blue
And I'm grateful that you threw away my old shoes
And brought me here instead dressed in red
....
Notorious for catatonic lapses during his later concerts, this song appears to be told from the perspective of Barratt looking out onto the freightning concert masses. According to Richard Wright's account, Barrett was not even doing many drugs at this point.
Much is written about the band's early drug us, though - Barrett in particular. That Barrett became mentally unstable and was, as a result, left behind by the band after the second album is often attributed directly to his drug use. In reality, I believe it is more complex. I think he was probably already unstable to begin with and the drug use exasperated the preexisting condition. But something definitely when wrong - not funny, cool creative wrong - wrong. When Pink Floyd was recording the song "Shine on You Crazy Diamond" (actually dedicated to Barratt) he stumbled into the studio unannounced. He was apparently unrecognizable: overweight and had shaved his eyebrows off.
One thing is for sure: his creative talents could not shine through his psychosis - his fractured mind did not account for his marvelous songs; rather, it destroyed his ability to pen them. His best songs, while psychedic in perspective, were marvellously grounded: "I've got a mouse and he hasn't got a house I don't know why I call him Gerald" (from "Bike") or "She puts on a gown that touches the ground / Emily's inclined to borrow somebody's dreams till tomorrow..." (from "See Emily Play"). The appeal of these lines lies in their frankness. Even when Barratt sings about space, as in "Astronomy Domine", the song is rooted in a classroom-like recitation of the moons of Jupiter ("Sirus, Titan, stars can freighten...."). Also, his lyrics stand out in the way that he clumsily wrapped them around his melodies - his songs always feel like they are going to fall apart until they come together beautifully.
I think Mangum's style (frontman for Neutral Milk Hotel) shows a lot of Syd Barrett influence. Indeed, aside from the purely musical anologies, both mucisians seemed to rise effortlessly to the pantheum of indie rock stardom only to retreat into reclusion and inactivity. Both are representations of Kerouac's roman candle madmen - not mad because of drugs, just mad. That they couldn't stick around may explain why they were ever "here" and interesting in the first place.
Posted by Shark 2006-07-11 13:27:29
Ready, Set, Gloam: Song-By-Song Radiohead Concert Review
Did everyone have a good shit today?
- Jim Morrison, live
Airbag
This song is a great example of what a great song does. It's got some weird theme about dying and coming back as a neon sign and an airbag saving Thom's life ... as if although technology (to Thom) can be scary and alienating, we must rely on it to save our lives. And you're rocking out to this ....
2 + 2 = 5
"Pythagoras considered numbers as the essence and principle of all things, and attributed to them a real and distinct existence ... The 'Monad' or unit he regarded as the source of all numbers. The number Two was imperfect, and the cause of increase and division. Three was called the number of the whole because it had a beginning, middle, and end. Four, representing the square, in the highest degree of perfect; and Ten, as it contains the sum of the four prime numbers, comprehends all musical and arithmatical proportions, and denotes the system of the world."
-Bulfinch
Kid A
Fourth of July went well this year. We actually managed to corral most of our friends in a cozy dell in Golden Gate Park along with fifty-five (55) beers, wine, plenty of spiced meets, two baseball mits, twelve (12) Amazonian princesses courtesy of Lady A, and one SF Giants baseball (go A's!).
Dollars and Cents
"You look great in shorts. And the flag looks great too."
-Bob Perlman
New Song (Title Unknown)
Play the Zidane headbutt game (courtesy of The Quail):
Melatonin (technical difficulties, Thom starts over)
Also at the 4th picnic, there was this guy named Johnny D's cousin that works for Apple. About five "nano" seconds after he mentioned this, I laid into him with my burning question: Why the fuck can't the minds at Apple eliminate that discontinuous hiccup between songs on iTunes? His answer: the main engineer is just lazy.
Fuck you, Jobs, fuck you.
Paranoid Android
The origins of "the Roar," which took my college world by storm, are strange. One night, Swanger, probably hiped up on muscle enhancing vitamins, stormed into my room going on about how good "Paranoid Android" was. ("I know dude, but, you know, just chill, here: put on the shades and the gloves and just, just sit down in the sensory deprovation chamber (a hanging chair in our room).") Then he started yelling it. Not the song. Just "Paranoid Android". Pretty loudly: "Paranoid ANDROID!" Screw it, I thought: "Paranoid ANDROID!" I yelled in harmony. Pretty soon we took our message to the streets. Gabe was around. So was Milkos I think (MIK-A-LOS, brrrr, drrrrr). But these guys, while joining in, had no idea what we were saying, so "Paranoid ANDROID" turned more into "ROAAAAAAAAAAAR!" And then as we roared we turned our hands to the sky in libation to pure, unneeded noise. That's about when MauPow bursts out of his door in boxers and flip-flops, obviously annoyed. "It's two o'clock in the goddamn morning, on" - he checks his watch - "Wednesday night. Shut the hell up. .... Look," he continued famously, pointing to each of us, "I respect you when you sleep, I respect you when you sleep, I respect you when you sleep, I respect you when you sleep." And the ROAR was born.
The Gloaming
What's the deal with marbles?
15 Step (new song)
I've written about five college essays for Patsy. The worst grade I got was a B+ on one because the professor was a solipsistic a-hole. The word got around and a guy named Student asked me to write a paper for him for 50 bucks. I agreed. The paper was to be about "a current event". Except that I had to do some crap about "significance, inherenty, and solvency". I wrote the paper quick quickly and it's far from my best work product but its topic is more important than a vast majority of the crap I wrote about in college. Here it is in all its goddamn glory, typos and all:
Newdow v. United States Congress:
Redrawing the Lines of Religious Endorsement
Our nation’s strong religious heritage makes for a derisive interaction between the desire to foster religious exercise and the desire to not establish a certain religion. A large number of our earliest settlers only arrived in America after fleeing religious persecution in Europe. Accordingly, Americans seem to have developed a dual religious nature. On the one hand, Americans today, like the early predecessors, have remained a pious nation. On the other hand, Americans have traditionally been careful to not use government as a means to enforce their personal piety out of concern that their nation would inhibit religious freedom in same manner as those countries from which they and their ancestors fled. With the rise of secularism in the 20th century, the previously accepted boundaries of the nebulous concept of “separate of church and state” have been challenged, particularly by atheists, whose religious beliefs are undermined by even generic references to “God”.
Our nation’s opposition to the government’s establishment of a certain religion is codified in the First Amendment to the federal Constitution, which provides that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.” This constitutional proscription of “establishing religion” has given rise to a lawsuit challenging a California school district’s rule requiring “each elementary school class [to] recite the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag once each day.” Elk Gove Unified School District Policy AR 6115. In 1954, at the peak of the Cold War, Congress amended the Pledge to add the words “under God”. The Pledge now reads, in part, “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”Gary Newdow, an atheist, filed an action against the school district and the United States Congress claiming that recitation of the Pledge prevents him from raising his daughter as an atheist. He claims that his daughter is injured when she is required to stand and, at the very least, listen while other students and her teacher recite the pledge. The federal trial court dismissed the case prior to trial. However, the federal Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit reversed the trial court dismissal with respect to the school district. The case is currently pending before the United States Supreme Court.
Significance
This Newdow case is significant because it will determine how strict courts can be in preventing federal and state governments invoking “God” in their communications. Moreover, the case reveals the changing landscape of religiosity in America. The new Pledge has been on the books since 1954, yet is being challenges now, for the first time, 50 years later. As religion slowly looses the support it once had, traditional invocations of “God”, in song, on money, etc., will be questioned as an endorsement not of religion in general, but of a particular set of monotheistic beliefs. Still further, the issue of religion in general taints our foreign affairs. Hatred for the American government’s perceived association with the Judeo-Christian religious tradition has made the United States a target for religious attack by our religious traditions. The decision of how strictly to enforce the Establishment cause will importantly effect how other countries view our government’s stance on religion.Inherency
Solvency
Government policies that mandate Americans to participate in exercises invoking “God” are clearly out of step with a society whose outlook is becoming increasingly secular. Proponents of the Pledge argue that the reference to God has an historical significance entirely separate from its religious meaning. According to counsel for the United States in the Newdown case, “Ceremonial references to God are so ingrained in the Nation’s history and culture, any such reference has lost any religious character or significance and is more appropriately understood as ‘cermonial deism’ which is consistent with the First Amendment.” Such interpretations, however, place too much emphasis on what has traditionally been accepted instead of evaluating these traditions in light of the current social climate. Just because past generations have not taken offense to such possible endorsement as the word “In God We Trust”, does not mean that these invocations do not excessively promote religions that praise a God over those that do not. Challenges by atheists like Newdow should be evaluated by courts openly (on a tabula rasa) and without allowing tradition to stunt progressive changes for the betterment of the government as a whole.
Policies like that of the Elk Grove School District should be considered unconstitutional. In the words of Gary Newdow, “[Such policies] indoctrinate children and the government is supposed to stay out of religion.” Moreover, the more strictly we enforce the Establishment Clause, the less reason these other religions will have to accuse the United States of favoring certain religion in their international dealings.
Optomistic
Back in September, I was released from a worrisome bondage by a call from my trusty insurance rep, who informed me that my AAA auto insurance would cover the damages to the totaled white Plymouth PT Cruiser that I had crashed on the way to Lake Shasta with Hip E, Pats E, and Inga on board. Now Fox Rent-A-Car, the fine establishment from which Hip E and I decided to rent said vehicle, opting moronically to not buy the physical damages waiver or list more than just Hip E as a driver, has been sending us bills to the tune of 27,000 bones for damages to the car. At the moment we are ignoring them, but, like this Radiohead song, we are optomistic.
New Song (from Thom's solo album I think)
A lot of reviewers are missing a key aesthetic element of The Walkmen's new album: it is an intentional return to the sun after an album (Bows + Arrows) firmly planted in a Christmasy holiday snow land.
[Series of songs that I forget to keep record off]
Chorus: And should that not be as the gods dispose?
Eteocles: The gods, they say, of a captured town desert her.
-Aeschylus, Seven Against Thebes
Everything in Its Right Place
The songs of Kid A remind me of my junior year in college when I lived in a "plush" downstairs room at my fraternity and every night when I went downstairs to my room late at night I would have to throw something in front of me so that the rats would scatter.
Encore: Fake Plastic Trees
Let's all stop talking about Los Angeles like it's cool again. LA is in red giant mode - namely, it's imploding under its own weight. It's not a city. You can't walk to any bars. Drunk driving is a prerequisit. LA lacks the natural beauty of Northern California. The last refuge from the crowds and pollution belong to the rich people in Pacific Pallisades and Newport Beach. Which is depressing. Anyone in SF can walk to the Marina. The LA beaches are overcrowded. The LA river is dried up. And you friends on the Endor Moon WILL NOT SURVIVE!
Encore: New Song (Title Unknown)
He dreams everyday when he sleeps, he begins to love the scary shadow under the oak tree. How does he begin? On the beach at the end of the movie when the characters are delivered to that nameless happiness that can (I think) be acheived? Or in the classroom, studying some music trivia in your head while the teacher talks about how he dreams everyday?
Encore: Blackstar (!)
I spent the night turning in bed
my love was a feather, a flat
sleeping thing. She was
very white
and quiet, and above us on
the roof, there was another women I
also loved, had addressed myself to in
a fit she returned. That
emcompasses it. But now I was
lonely, I yelled,
but what it that? Ugh,
she said, beside me, she put
her hand on
my back, for which act
I think to say this
wrongly.
-Roberty Creeley
Encore: Slow Down
"We love you dark continent, good night!" -Ace Ventura
Posted by Shark 2006-07-10 21:15:52
Thumb Down!
America's favorite formerly fat movie critic has undergone emergency surgey and has suspended his reviews until he recovers. Ebert, whose amazing feat of seeing nearly ever major movie released since 1970 has apparently given him the filmic perspicacity to laud films like Garfield and Star Wars Episode I, has himself provided no explanation of the malady that has laid him low. However, his wife, Chaz, provide the following comment on Ebert's website:
I am happy to report that Roger is in stable condition and is improving each day. He has an excellent medical team led by Doctors Harold Pelzer, Neil Fine and Robert Havey, and they are optimistic about his recovery. We have every confidence in their abilities.
Medical issues aside, I am asking you to pray for Roger during his period of recovery and to visualize him being enveloped in healing light.
Roger would also want you to go out to the movies. He gives you permission to see even those movies that don't have his personal "Thumbs Up."
Thank you for your kind thoughts, words and prayers.
So, Rog, it all makes sense now. Few probably remember what was, in the small world of Siskel and Ebert, a momentous occurance. Ebert, after taking a vocal stand on his thumbs down review of Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven, later retracted his review on national television. According to Ebert, then still fat, when he watched the screning of Unforgiven he was distracted by his recent engagement to his second wife, Chaz, and had, accordingly, given the movie an unfairly short shrift. Now it makes sense. From her little letter, it look like Chazie is somewhat of a moron. I mean, I'm pretty sure that if Ebert were cognizent he would not ask his fans to "visualize him being enveloped in healing light." This is because Ebert, opinion of Episode I aside, is an intelligent guy. His wife, obviously, is not. Therefore, she must be hot. Because Ebert's rich. Therefore, Ebert was totally distracted thinking about banging his hot wife on his honeymoon while he was watching Clint Eastwood run around lawlessly with Christian Slater Jaimz Woolvet. Ew and ew.
Posted by Shark 2006-07-07 19:33:48
One Last Thing
Craigslist ad under a motorcycle search for "BMW":
I will barter my services as a Certified Massage Therapist (this is for professional, quality massage - NOT prostitution)and provide sessions at your location (home or business) for yourself or your business in exchange for equal, agreed upon value of motorcycle.
There's a lot more, including the fact that he provided massage services at the Harmony Festivals Techno Tribal Dance Event, June 2006. And then he attaches this picture:
Posted by Hip E. 2006-07-01 01:52:30
Comments:
From Pliska in Portland [24.22.8.15] - 7/8/06 1:22 AM
From Shark - 7/8/06 1:53 PM
From Pliska in Portland [24.22.8.15] - 7/8/06 5:50 PM
From Shark - 7/9/06 11:23 AM
PEPPIN: Yeah.
Billy shoots Crawford from the house.
BILLY THE KID: Hey, Peppin, Charlie Crawford aint with you no more!
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/10/06 2:09 PM
Shark and I had a lovely day yesterday. Besides traversing among the drunken soccer fans in North Beach, attending a labor union poetry reading at City Lights bookstore, participating in some type of soccer cheer with a bunch of irish chicks, having a beer or two at Vesuvios, and passing out in Washington Square park.....it was a freaking sweet weekend. Not to mention that on Saturday, Will, Shark, and I had a delicious Mexican bar-b-que in the back yard.
Hip-E...I hope LA was fun....please ignore the human feces in your bed.
From linda [63.170.97.131] - 7/10/06 8:02 PM
From Hip E. [24.7.61.116] - 7/11/06 12:35 AM
From Reid [24.7.61.116] - 7/11/06 12:51 AM
DOES ANYONE HAVE MY CAR KEYS?!?!
I have no idea where they are....they have an alligator claw on them. please respond if you do!!!
From Gabbeh [65.172.32.166] - 7/11/06 10:23 AM
From Shark - 7/11/06 10:26 AM
I wrote that post on Saturday, which happens to be the same days that I did about ¾ of a sink full of stank dishes and helped clean the living room. Hip E was gallivanting in LA at the time.
P.S. How annoying of a dad is Hip E going to be? Wow.
From Shark - 7/11/06 10:27 AM
From bad joke alert [64.122.14.76] - 7/11/06 11:13 AM
I bet he gave Jungle Fever two thumbs up!!
From linda [63.170.97.131] - 7/11/06 11:28 AM
From Thrill [64.81.50.140] - 7/11/06 2:49 PM
From Gabbeh [65.172.32.166] - 7/11/06 3:25 PM
From Shark - 7/11/06 4:18 PM
bad joke alert, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Inga, pooping in the shower will be encouraged at the Shark household. Or, alternatively, I ain't never having no children.
From Pliska in Portland [24.22.8.15] - 7/11/06 5:06 PM
From Thrill [64.81.50.140] - 7/11/06 5:38 PM
From linda [63.170.97.131] - 7/12/06 11:25 AM
From Thrill [198.199.50.254] - 7/12/06 2:24 PM
From Shark [63.198.166.101] - 7/12/06 5:51 PM
"Son, if you move your eyebrows fast enough, we can fly out of this cursed labyrinth of my own design!"
-Hip E, playing Daedelus in a modernized, small community theatre rendition of the Icarus myth
From Gabbeh [65.172.33.89] - 7/13/06 8:59 AM
From Long-time Jo-tel reader [138.88.80.4] - 7/14/06 2:59 PM
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/14/06 3:14 PM
From Shark [63.198.166.59] - 7/14/06 5:11 PM
From Thrill [198.199.50.254] - 7/14/06 7:30 PM
From Stickler [70.36.196.173] - 7/15/06 3:06 AM
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/17/06 12:18 PM
So apparently I actually turned this in for my Photo II mini-thesis proposal. I recall the teacher asking if I was on acid when I wrote it, needless to say, I still aced the class.
To discuss, as I must, with regard to my newborn idea of truly treacherous death in unseemingly patrician areas of society, I begin to unravel my mini thesis for the remnants of the semester. The central idea of my concept seems to double in complexity every week that I see and learn more in photography class. However, I have nailed down a primary instinct that contains the guts and blood of my mini concoction of photographic ends and means of sober miscellany depression, death, and demise.
As some type of understanding to the depth of sentiment and feeling I am trying to reach, a comparison should be made. If at the dinner table, there might be ham, turkey, caviar, or tall glasses of wine, but something throws you directly out of the chair onto the floor. Misdirection feeds your mind in crystal goblets and poultry. Rising out of this grounded position, a quick movement across the floor reaches the legs of the chair. These legs symbolize the roots in which one was planted and raised, more or less the moral values or constraints of common society at the time of maturity. As this understanding grows and deviation from the legs continues, eyebrows rise, temples wrinkle, and thoughts ramble.
The apex of frustration coagulates to an unbearable hunger and thirst, which then compels the insatiated to leap towards “meals” of delicious parts and delectable recipes, otherwise known as “immoral society”. A type of lust that must be satisfied immediately, the feeling of “being known”, although this is not an intelligent ideal.
A man who can dance would not jump and jive to simple items as food and talk. But this man has been starved, such as the dinner goer on the ground. Fortunately, this man was dropped him from his wicker chair onto the floor, and forced to think. It was not coincidental this happened, for ideas of rusty personas, bent ideas, threatening ideals, and broken promises wiggled its way to his mind.
He will dream and write of plastic sunsets, paths needed of taking, violins requiring stringing, and concrete begging of smoothing. This man has felt the compassion to write questions about the sun rise, beg of the clouds to foster some form of equality, but yet experiences the lightning striking around him.
Essentially, the man is robbed of his foresight of perfect life, and will be supplemented with images of deviant, atypical walks of life, from New York City, to a Southern school, to a college locker room, to a packed night club. Some of the pictures will portray the individual alone in the world, while others make the photograph filled robust amounts of the ordinary that become unordinary.
The mini thesis will be an investigation into the surreal elements that a large crowd of individuals or single persons will produce a false and real environments (i.e. locker rooms, concerts; lilith fair, “raves”, backyard country shows) of society, while embellishing on the external feelings of loneliness, danger, and chaos.
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/17/06 12:22 PM
oh yeah...and this was my Serbian dialogue exam...
U klubu
Narrator: Ivan
Dragan: Reid
Vesna: Ole
N: Ponedeljak je. Dragan i Vesna su u velikom, dobrom klubu u Beogradu gde oni živi. Kasno je. Već četiri sata je i oni sy umorani.
V: Želiš da piješ nešta?
D: Ne, xvala. Kado si?
V: Dobro sam, xvala. Ali meni se smeta muzika ovde.
D: Meni se sviđa muzika ali meni se smeta ova purpurna soba.
V: Ja sam pospana takođe.
V: Stanujem u purpurnoj sobi.
D: Žao mi je. Stanujem u plavoi sobi. Meni se sviđa moj stan.
V: Želim da spavam. Ja sam pospana.
D: I ja sam pospan. Xajdemo?
V: U redy.
N: Vesna i Dragan idu kod kuće, jer oni trebaju ići na posaju rano sytra. Vesna i Dragan rade zajedno u biblioteci. Biblioteka se nalazi u centru grada nasuprot velikom parky. Oni rade y biblioteci pet godinā. Cvaki dan oni idu na posao brzim vozom. Sada oni su na posly.
V: Sećam se dobre knjige, koja se zove ”April i zelene proleće.” Dragane, da li znaš gde je ona?
D: Kojy knjigy nađeš?
V: Nađem ty crveny, koja se zove ”April i zelene proleće.
D: Ne znam gde ona. Mislim da je među tim plavim knjigama. Ili možda ona je iza tih smeđih knjigā. Ili možda ona je na tim velikim stolovima. Zaista ne znam.
V: Dobro. Nađem. Da li znaš da imamo samo jedny knijgu o Beogrady. Ckoro je leto. Obično je mnogo turistā leti, koji žele ga čitaju o belikim gradima Srbije. Treba ga kupimo nove knjige.
D: Koliko novih knjigā treba nam ga kupimo?
V: Mislim da treba ga kupimo gvadeset novih knjigā.
D: Sada nemamo novca.
V: Nove knjige nisu skupe. I mi možemo da prodajemo stare knjige, ili tvoj auto.
D: Nikada prodajem svoj auto. Volim toj auto.
N: To je život Vesne i Dragana. Noćom oni su y klubu, danom u biblioteci. Znam da ova mala priča nije vrlo interesantna. A što raditi? Oni rade u biblioteci. Oni su dosadni. Kraj priče. Xvala.
From Thrill [198.199.50.254] - 7/17/06 8:19 PM
From Brewer [72.83.87.209] - 7/17/06 11:40 PM
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/18/06 12:29 PM
Morning thoughts after a weird dream:
Seafoam crept onto the tip of my bar glass, I knew it was almost time for another drink. What type should it be...hmmm....perhaps a "crazy flying clown", nah, "boogie down", nope, "nap time", yeah, that was it. That special drink had tomatoes in it imported from the small region of Russia now known as Flzix, and also lemons from the indigenous but delicious place called Bingit. Oh yeah, this is what the poor have and only people in coffins refuse. Maybe a martini would be more in order, fuck it, I actually want a fresh banana from the Congo, which was pealed by an ape, damn that sounds delectable. Minutes fly on the clock like mice in a game of chess...a toast is now in order. Let's bless the greatness of the character of Sir Francis Bacon. Now put a cucumber into a train set and send it straight to Jamaica where scarecrows are there to keep hippies away from the weed, and where the twisted words of Abraham gave rule to absurd cowards of the ganja farm. Now is the time we should drop this cup of sand into our mouths.
From Stickler [70.36.196.173] - 7/18/06 7:54 PM
From Hip - 7/18/06 8:40 PM
From Reid [24.7.61.116] - 7/18/06 9:16 PM
Hip E...things can't be pants-poopingly
From That dude that hooked up with Savannah [24.7.61.116] - 7/18/06 10:23 PM
From Hip - 7/20/06 11:40 AM
Shorter Proust:
You live your life. When you are young you notice everything and everything is fascinating. As you get older, habit and experience allow you to replace the actual sensation of life with an ongoing shorthand sketch, bled of all color and significance. You have Lost your Time. To get it back, create a work of literature comprised of gems of original, skyscraping Truths set in a velvet field of more superficial, commonplace truths. Remember what it's like to live, and you have Time Regained.
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/20/06 12:13 PM
"Innocence is indeed a glorious thing, but unfortunately does not keep well and is easily led astray"
-Kant
From Pliska in Portland [24.22.8.15] - 7/20/06 7:20 PM
I bet butt sex probably feels pretty great.
-Hip E
From You know who [65.172.33.89] - 7/21/06 1:02 PM
"I bet butt sex with Matt Poland probably feel pretty great" -- Nate Pliska
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/21/06 1:50 PM
I’ll start this off by saying, yes indeed this post is a bit nerdy....that said, here I go.
I freaking loved the Sony Bravia commercial with the super balls bouncing down from the top of Russian Hill on
Filbert Street towards Columbus Avenue and Washington Square Park, with the Jose Gonzalez cover of The Knife’s “Heartbeats” playing in the background. If you liked it just as much me, you might appreciate the fact that Sony is currently working on another branded entertainment commercial for the Bravia. Nothing was known about it until now, they released a picture of the location. The web banner on the site shows pictures of paint being thrown and captured in mid-air.....hmmmmHere’s the sneak peak link:
http://www.bravia-advert.com/paint/your-first-sneak-peek/
Also, another link to an interview with Jose Gonzalez about “Heartbeats”
http://www.bravia-advert.com/music/interviewhigh.html
Also, the Bravia commercial had so much success, this fruit juice company copied it, but replaced the balls with fruit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjHzS_twDVY
Finally, a link to some behind the scenes from the first Bravia shoot:
From PETE [66.218.58.67] - 7/21/06 6:11 PM
From Hip E. [146.23.68.25] - 7/25/06 1:19 PM
From Quail - 7/25/06 3:34 PM
From Load [12.180.32.66] - 7/25/06 4:19 PM
From Gabbeh [65.172.33.89] - 7/25/06 4:27 PM
From a gal up North who will remain nameless... [64.122.14.76] - 7/25/06 4:46 PM
ummm I once made a similar purchase at 10:30AM on a Tuesday!! Though sub the beer and glue for a pack of marlboro lights and some sewing thread. To top off that classy move I accidently sent an email about the whole scene, intended for the one of the girlfriends, to the ex.
From Hip E. [144.5.224.144] - 7/25/06 5:50 PM
From Random IP Address Generator [144.5.224.144] - 7/25/06 5:51 PM
That's like the time I bought a pack of condoms at the store. Small world.
From Hip E. [144.5.224.144] - 7/25/06 5:53 PM
From Hip E. [144.5.224.144] - 7/25/06 5:54 PM
Ha! Upon further reflection, that's why WALLOCH is only honorary. Becky was "stripped" of her "HONORary" status, so to speak...
tee hee!
From Stickler [70.36.196.173] - 7/26/06 1:02 AM
From Thrill [24.7.61.116] - 7/26/06 11:17 PM
From Gabbeh [65.172.33.89] - 7/27/06 10:38 AM
From Thrill [198.199.50.254] - 7/27/06 1:36 PM
"I began to suspect something was wrong in high school... but I never went deeper."
I have to believe you wrote that sentence merely as a setup for someone to make a penis joke.
From Magda [66.77.150.242] - 7/27/06 2:25 PM
From Reid [65.113.47.50] - 7/31/06 1:16 PM
update on the new Sony Bravia commercial:
it inloved:
70,000 litres of paint
358 single bottle bombs
33 sextuple air cluster bombs
22 Triple hung cluster bombs
268 mortars
33 Triple Mortars
22 Double mortars
358 meters of weld
330 meters of steel pipe
57 km of copper wire
SEE link for more
From Load [12.180.32.66] - 7/31/06 10:37 PM
From Load [12.180.32.66] - 7/31/06 10:40 PM
Forgot to add that those are only mildly amusing at best.Comment on this Page
Last Modified 9/16/06 3:44 PM