"... - and then one night, around midnight, on the corner
of Lexington and Fifty-second, when you have come really
to the point of losing faith in the existence of such a crea-
ture as you have been imagining for yourself even unto
your thirty-second year, there she is, wearing a tan pants
suit, and trying to hail a cab - lanky, with dark and abun-
dant hair, and smallish features that give her face a kind
of petulant expression, and an absolutely fantastic ass."
- Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint
Some Time This Century
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THE JO-TEL IS:
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CURRENTLY READING:
Hip E.
- Laurence Sterne, The Life and Opinions of
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PETE
- Cormac McCarthy, Suttree
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CURRENTLY LISTENING TO:
Hip E.
- Neko Case, Blacklisted (2002)
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- Richard Hell & the Voidoids, Blank
Generation (1977)
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Society (1968)
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PETE
- Smashmouth, Greatest Hits vol. II (2004)
Johnny D
- Television Personalities, And Don't the Kids
Just Love it (1980)
- The Blow, Paper Television (2006)
- The Magnetic Fields, 69 Love Songs Vol. 1,
2, & 3 (1999)
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- Carla Bruni
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THE JO-TEL ...the comments are at the bottom | Show Menu |
VELVETRON in San Francisco
If you losers don't have plan for Saturday night already (which we all know you don't), you should all come to Hotel Utah (not affiliated with the Jo-Tel, which hates Utah because PETE got arrested there for on a bogus DWAPS charge (Driving With A Phish Sticker) and because 99% of Mor-MONs still think Bush is doing a bang up job!) to see VELVETRON, a great band from Chicago. And when I say great I mean GREAT. They're better than Journey.
I'm fucking serious.
And I'm not just saying that because I know them. If any of my friends were ever in a shitty band I'd be like "Hey man, your band is worse than fucking Journey. What the fuck are you doing?" That's what I said to my boy Thom Yorke just last month when I heard his band Radiohead. I guess they're kind of famous but what can I say, I'm an honest guy. Plus what kind of shit ass name is Radiohead? I told him that too...
All kidding aside though, for $7 you're not going to hear better music (not to say that they wouldn't be worth seeing for more than $7, I'm just trying to point out the value of... nevermind). The first time I hear them play in Chicago I was pretty much blown away. Luckily, you don't have to take my word for it as lots of their songs are available for download at their Web site here. If I were Johnny D I'd be making comparisons to The Sea And Cake, or The Slip. I suggest the songs Snooze Bar and want/will. Their Web site is also very entertaining and funny, much like ours except with a point.
Also, if you are busy on Saturday (yeah right) but not on Friday, they're playing at ATA in the Mission after a screening of the Ice Capades film and video series, which is a bunch of films from Chicago independent filmmakers, which is nice.
While we're on the Subject of Friday night, I might mention that Missy Elliott's favorite white girl, Annie is playing at Mighty SF. Annie is Nordic. So very Nordic. And her beats are too, too fresh. Here is a picture of her (because she's hot) with one dude who looks like her just got a beating, and one dude who desperately needs one. Sight?
And just for good measure, here is on of her looking sassy in a DFA1979 t-shirt. Sight?
Seen, Rasta.
Posted by PETE 6/30/05 7:03pm
Awesome Link of the Day
Suggested listening while watching this thing: "Sleepwalk" by Johnny and Santo. Actually I think this goes well with all sorts of different kinds of music. Another thing this site does is it makes me REALLY not want to be involved in a high-speed motorcycle crash. It is extremely cool. I love it. Some say it's What Happens When You Put Too Much Detergent In the Washing Machine.
Posted by Hip E. 6/29/2005 2:37pm
You know what? Fuck Garden State!
The Shins' "New Slang" is just a great song. They could put it on NOW! 29 and every single OC Mix and it would still be awesome. Listen again and check out the subtle bassline. Also, in one way or another, it has got to be bad that Natalie Portman was more attractive in "Beautiful Girls" than she was in "Star Wars III"
Posted by Hip E. 6/29/2005 2:13pm
Jo-tel Surf Report
Surfing is good. I went for the first time on Saturday with Reid, and then I went again yesterday with unemployed former 
[Big Evil Corporation where I work] coworker Amy. I've been wanting to try surfing for a long time because I thought I would be really good at it. There's not really much basis for that since I'm not good at swimming or skateboarding but it's just a feeling I had. Alternatively, God spoke to me and told me I would be good at surfing. Anyways, so surfing is great. Pacifica is literally 20 minutes from San Francisco, and you can rent a board and a wetsuit for $30, or $20 if you go after 2pm. The first day was cloudy and cold, but with the wetsuit on it's really quite comfortable. I was amazed at how long it took my hands and feet to turn purple and yellow and go numb. But most of the time you're either paddling, which is hard, or concentrating on trying to catch a wave, so you don't have too much time to think about feeling your toes. On Saturday I went with Reid and spent the whole afternoon out with the actual surfers who know what they're doing. Considering that it was my first day, I was just happy to have ridden a couple waves in on my hands and knees, not drowned, and not gotten yelled at by the locals for fucking up. Yesterday it was sunny and beautiful and there were far less people out. We stayed closer to shore over by where the 13 year-old girls were getting lessons, which was much more conducive to learning how to surf. I got up a number of times (no 13 year-old jokes here, please) and got much better at "popping up". I can't wait to go again. The best part about it was that yesterday I came to work at 10, left at 12:45, and clocked in for nine hours. Gnarly, dude!
Posted by Hip E. 6/29/2005 11:28am
White People Rapping
Inspired by a reader poll at RBlog, I want to ask you, the reader, (Hi Mike!), a question of decorum. I'll just cut and paste from my comment at RBlog because I'm lazy:
When a white guy is rapping along with Tupac - or just singing a rap song for whatever reason - and in the lyrics is the word "nigga" or one of its variations, what is the protocol there? Especially when there is a black guy around. I mean, I like the song, it's got great lyrics, and that's how the song goes. It's not my fault Tupac wrote it like that, and I paid for the album (hypothetically). For instance:
First off, fuck your bitch
And the clique you claim
West Side when we ride
Come equipped with game
You claim to be a playa
But I fucked your wife
We bust on Bad Boys
Niggas fucked for Life
You know? You can't just leave that line out. Shiiit!
Posted by Hip E. 6/29/2005 11:14am
Just Incredible. Amazing. I am in LOVE with this Web site! I want to spend my life with it. Matt, did you know Wheel Of Fortune is a pseudoscience?
Via Merz, the most incredible, stupendous Web site ever. Before I ever knew that Lifetime was a channel for women, I only knew it as the channel with the best game show ever created: Supermarket Sweep.
If you've seen the show ever, you automatically agree with me. If you haven't, it's pretty easy to explain. 3 teams, generally couples, compete in a run through a supermarket filling cart after cart with crap from the shelves. The object is spend as much money as possible. Sounds pretty simple. Pretty straight forward. It was. But there was a lot of strategy involved too, like...
okay well I lied. There was one strategy which was get all the most expensive shit possible as fast as possible. The meat department was of paramount importance, as was the medicine aisle and, of course, diapers. The only catch was that you were only allowed 5 of any one item. I imagine there was another catch: that you couldn't just run down the aisles with your arm sticking out, knocking shit willy nilly into your cart because I never saw anyone do that and obviously that would've been a smart move.
The sweep was intense, period. I remember standing on my couch yelling at all three teams simultaneously. "You forgot the pot roast! Get the fucking lead out! You only have 30 seconds left and you haven't even hit the cold remedies!! You can't win without the big boxes of Tylenol! You just can't! Why are you getting cheese pizzas when the supremes are right fucking there! GOD! Why the FUCK are you buying Cool Ranch Doritos?"
Did I mention that the contestants were often of uncommon girth? If you don't see the funny in watching a fat guy run around a supermarket at full speed, loading 5 giant hams into his cart while sweating profusely then you're probably a nazi.
Anyhow, I highly suggest you visit David Ruprecht's Web site, as it is intensely entertaining. In the FAQ I found out, amongst other things, that he was on Three's Company, where he played the guy who married Janice after John Ritter was done with her, that he hosted the 2001 Miss World pageant with Downtown Julie Brown (and yes, that's 2001, not 1991), and that his day job is the Executive Director of the California Libertarian Party... He also sells Supermarket Sweep sweatshirts.
Guys, my birthday is coming up.
Posted by PETE 6/27/05 8:17pm
Lohan still tenaciously clawing her way to the top...
I don't know what's going on here but that does not matter at all.
I guess this pic is from Letterman, which I find hard to believe because I'm pretty sure she's laughing really hard at something so uh... maybe there was a guest host? Or maybe Letterman played a clip of himself from 8 years ago where he actually said or did something hilarious. Or maybe he just finished telling the audience that he's going to quit the latenight biz for a cushy gig hosting America's Funniest Home Videos, and Lohan's reaction is one of pure, unadulterated joy due to the realization that never again in what is to be a long, fruitful career will she have to sit opposite Letterman and endure is never-ending onslaught of jokes that would make Carrot Top weep.
Unless of course she gets hit in the crotch with a wiffle bat! HA! Man that never stops being funny!
Oh, and her boobs are popping out... which is nice. Another month and they'll be big enough for her to snort lines off of again!
Note: as always, Lohan picture stretched slightly along horizontal axis so as to reflect the wishful thinking on my part.
Posted by PETE 6/27/05 7:26pm
What's more dangerous to humanity - Pit Bulls or The Cruise?
Turn down the volume a little for this one: DIE, OPRAH!!!
also read this: What's Going On With Tom Cruise?
Posted by Hip E. 6/27/2005 10:47am
UPDATE: Psychiatrists fight back: CNN.com
Posted by Hip E. 6/27/2005 4:38pm
"Father, thank you for this opportunity to come out to the Dodge/SaveMart 350."
There are no atheists on the oval track. Link thanks to Linda.
Posted by Hip E. 6/27/2005 10:21am
Sports Guy Eat Shit
"If you look up the word "one-eyed" in the dictionary, there's a picture of Stu Scott - squintin'."
Posted by Hip E. 6/23/2005 10:05pm
Congratulations Spurs. Good game.
Naked Yoga
Found this on RBlog. PETE, can you think of ANYthing more up your alley?
Posted by Hip E. 6/23/2005 4:49pm
For the Record (scroll down for funny posts)
I always delight in any position I have that confuses those simpletons who would pigeonhole me as a "Democrat" or a "Liberal". So I just thought I'd mention that I think we should stay in Iraq until they have some kind of stable government and police capability sufficient for protecting their citizens from terrorists and foreign powers. Obviously we should not have gone to war there based on Bush's lies and misdirection, and I don't think we should have gone to war there to stop Saddam from beating up on his people. And the reason is that once we went, we were morally obligated to stick with it until the whole mess is cleaned up. So we should stay, and give the troops whatever equipment, personnel and intelligence they need to get the job done. Everyone knew that lots of U.S. troops would die if we did this, and that it would cost a ridiculous amount of money, and that it would lessen our ability to track down Al Queda and fight terrorism. That's why we shouldn't have gone. But now we have to stay.
Also, I think they need to regulate medical pot much, much better. Medical pot is for people who have actual diseases who need it to help them live through chemo and AIDS and shit. When it is as easy as it is for any Joe Schmo off the street to get a prescription, what it does is undermine the legal situation of the people who actually need it for medical reasons. Now, of course marijuana should be legal for everyone over 21, but that's not the issue. If I don't want to go to jail for pot, I can be careful and hope I don't get caught, or I can just stop smoking (not that I smoke pot). But Glaucoma Granny has a much shittier choice to make. So all you hippie potheads out there, listen unto me: Medical Marijuana and Recreational Marijuana are two completely separate issues. If we handle the former correctly, it will help pave the way for the latter. But if we fuck up the first one it will still be illegal and old sick people will be crying. Rasta!
Posted by Hip E. 6/23/2005 3:57pm
so this is what it's like to be PETE..
God Help Us
But we are the #1 result in a Google search for "Alia Shawkat tits". Sorry Alia. Um.. Mr. & Mrs. Shawkat... we really would not want to make out with your daughter until she is at least 18. Except for Paul Self.
Posted by Hip E. 6/23/05 3:16pm
NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!!!!!!!
The Jo-tel is now accepting applications for a Personal Nerd. Ever since I moved out of the dorms, there's never a nerd handy when I need one. For instance, I would love to get the 'hack' that allows you to transfer music from your iPod to your computer instead of only being able to go from computer to iPod. A Personal Nerd would be able to take care of that while I was brushing my teeth in the morning. I also really want to be able to mix songs together and chop up mp3's and stuff. I know for a fact that the software to do this is out there, and my Personal Nerd could provide it to me for free. Nerds are all about Pirating.
Computers are great, but us normal people only scratch the surface of their potential utility. Nerds are always doing stuff like dimming the lights in the living room by pushing a button on their laptop. If we had a Nerd, he could easily take short video clips off the cable TV and show us how to put them on the Jo-tel.com. Then the whole "titty popped out" thing wouldn't just be a story that PETE and I tell that makes people think we do a lot of hard drugs; it would be a viral internet phenomenon that secretaries would discuss by the drinking fountain, much like Hey Crackhead. I got the idea from the Leroy clip below, along with Casablanca.
Prospective Personal Nerds: Here is your first assignment. In the movie Casablanca, which I saw for the first time last night, there is a scene at the end where a plane takes off from an airport. The plane has a really cool logo on the side of it. Make me a t-shirt (Size M) with that logo on it, approximately 10" in diameter. The back should say "Hip E." across the shoulders and have a big number "11" in the middle. White lettering on navy blue gets bonus points. No, you cannot make one for yourself.
Posted by Hip E. 6/23/2005 3:00pm
LEEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOOOYYY!!!!!!!!
While wasting time at work yesterday... Wait, I guess I have to preface this one. At work on Tuesday we got an email at 4:15 for an emergency meeting at 4:30 where we were given a letter and told that our layoffs were taken back and that our release date has been pushed back from June 24 to July 28. So that means another month of them paying us to show up whenever we want and use their high-tech computing and copying equipment for our own nefarious purposes. Basically it is good for me because I'll be making twice as much as I would have been on unemployment. I was looking forward to camping next week, but I think I might just go anyway.
So... while wasting time at work yesterday, browsing the clips at ifilm.com and trying to stay away from the "Mature" section, I found this little gem (Click "WATCH NOW!"). It's a coven of video game nerds playing Warcraft online together and communicating remotely with headsets. They make a detailed plan to attack a cave full of dragons but then Leroy ruins it at the last minute... with hilarious results. The best part is the noise he makes right after he screams his name, and the part where somebody says he's "so stoned." Someone on the Network *RehabStar made the great point that - Who the hell videotapes video games?? Which brings me to my next post.
Posted by Hip E. 6/23/2005 2:08pm
Find the Jo-Tel
I only got 9 minutes before I have to leave for yet another unenjoyable jam class where I play my banjo with like 8 other musicians who are all way better than me and can barely contain their disgust that I listen to stuff other than old timey bluegrass on occasion so I'll make this quick. The post I wrote on Monday that got erased by stupid fucking editme was called "Find the Jo-Tel". At this Web site's inception, we had lots of big plans. Shark was going to shoot for 2-3 album reviews a week. The Review Review was going to be big big BIG!! We were going to do bar reviews, restaurant reviews, and make fun of lame SF people so all the cool SF people would read it and be like "Ha HA! Yeah! They are so right! That particular group of people or person singular IS(ARE) lame and deserving of contempt. These Jo-Tel guys have ther finger on the pulse! I'm going to email all my friends and tell them to frequent the Jo-Tel too!"
Also, we were going to get naked in public a lot and write about freaking out the squares.
So far after 8 months we're like 1 for umpteen (I hate that word but I'm in a hurry so I should probabaly dispense with this parenthetical whatever it is).
Shit, out of time!
To be continued.
Posted by PETE 6/22/05 6:22pm
A Good Name for a Song
"I Am John Ritter"
Posted by Shark 6/22/05 3:04
Uh...
Gotta love the Japanese. Engineers at Toyota have developed a new airbags design that's supposedly easier on your nose and neck. And, uh... because they have a sense of humor I guess, they made the prototype pink.
My prediction is after this comes out you're going to have lonely Japanese men running into trees all over town.
"Koichi-san! Are you okay!"
"Hai! Now please, give me 15 minute!"
One more joke to fill up the space on the side of this picture: Easy on my neck? Gee... if I recall correctly, the last time I put my face into something like this, my neck hurt for days! Ha HA! Somebody call the Dice Man! (Calm down ladies, I could've just as easily gone with a nose joke. And yes, I'm still single. Amazing right?)
Full story here, via Johnny D.
Posted by PETE 6/21/05 7:29pm
Lohan
Hmm...
Lohan... I gotta say, after hearing that you said in an interview that you missed your red hair (the blonde is for a movie, a movie for which the producers are obviously on crack), and now after seeing this picture where you look, dare I say it, hot again, you might just be climbing back into my good graces. Your rack also seems to be growning, which has to be throwing another wrench into the already wrench-laden gears of your detractors (Uh... well see, she had them removed and um... now she had them repaced again, and uh... now they're like, these new SUPER implants that shrink and grow with you and uh... HEY! Come back here with my push-up bra and my bottle of Proactiv! I said GIVE IT!). Yep, Lohan. You are lookin' fine and it's also good to see that you've got your amazing smile back.
So... this picture must've been taken BEFORE you found out that Disney had cut your song out of your movie and moved it to the closing credits. I heard they replaced it with Jessica Simpson's cover of "These Boot Are Made For Walkin'". Ouch.
Yeah... Stop singing.
Posted by PETE 6/21/05 7:10pm
Tello: Rack Him
Tello got his first movie roll. I'll let him tell you about it.
I shot a movie scene the other day. And I was in a really small role in a scene with Peter Frampton, where we were depicted smoking pot. But it was a movie set so it was fake pot. So I smoked fake pot with Peter Frampton. Which is easily as cool as smoking real pot with a guy that looks like Peter Frampton, which I've done much more often.
I don't look like Peter Frampton, dude. WTF?
Posted by PETE 6/21/05 6:44pm
Maps of My Neighborhood
Yesterday I finished my last isometric and three support calculations. My last day of work is Friday. This morning I spent some time making a couple "memory maps" on flickr. Ever wonder where the Hipster grew up? Here you go. And here, and here. Coming soon: San Francisco. Also feel free to check out the rest of my pics including several new ones from Pliska's birthday party at Timothy Lake, Oregon.
Posted by Hip E. 6/21/2005 1:57pm
Hey! Guess what just happened to me for like the 80th time!
Editme says:
Two minor bug fixes went live recently...
The "Remember Me" login feature now extends to the editing screen. This allows for editing sessions that do not "expire" after 30 minutes. If the Remember Me box is checked, your editing session will not expire and you will not be warned after 20 minutes. If you do not check the Remember Me box on the login screen, the warning pop-up will display and operate as before. All customers are encouraged to save their work more frequently than 30 minutes, as work can be lost in many other ways (like your computer or browser crashing, or accidentally closing your browser without saving).
Editme fucking lies because I just got another two posts erased and DIDN"T GET ANY FUCKING WARNING MESSAGES!
This hot on the heels of them erasing everything but our menu bar (where I hope you enjoyed the picture of Bain in the blue M&M suit!) for like 2 days, and event now referred to as the Jolocaust (is comparing the destruction of 8 months worth of B and C level humor material to the mass genocide of millions of people in bad taste? Is it? I'm seriously asking).
You guys seriously, I said if we ever got either 500 visits in a single day I'd ditch editme and turn this into a real site with a real program like Moveable Type. Unfortunately, that's still nowhere near happening. I know it's against the like, rules of blogdom to beg for readers but if Alex Blagg who, lets get this straight right now, is hilarious, can beg his readers to vote his blog "Best SF Blog" when he only had like 250 visits a day (now he's up to 1200 and congratulations). then I can ask our readers to maybe email a few people the link to our site. I'm desperate. I hate editme. They were supposed to launch v2.0 with a blog engine last fall. IT'S FUCKING NEXT SUMMER AND THEY STILL CAN'T STOP FUCKING UP!
Don't make me write a chain letter. I'll do it. It's going to be smarmy, cutesy and chock full of aphorisms! And it will mention Jesus, and how much Jesus obviously loves chain letters.
Because he does love them.
Fuck this.
Posted by PETE 6/20/05 at some point. Who wants to know, asshole?
Happy 6/20!!
Either today or tomorrow is the longest day of the year. I hope it's tomorrow because it's dark outside, and I wasted all available daylight sitting in my office writing shit for the Jo-Tel. Only 79 more posts to go!
Seriously though, today is my favorite day of the year other than Thanksgiving. I hope you guys all enjoyed the no-doubt beautiful, lingering sunset that I missed because I was writing about Silver Spoons.
Cheers.
Posted by PETE 6/20/05 9:13pm
Silver Spoons Analogy Successfully Utilized
Before I get started, I just googled "We put the anal in analogy" and only got one usage back. How did none of us ever think of that?
So, you guys remember Silver Spoons right? I don't. Not really anyways. I remember it was on after Gimme A Break, I remember Rick Schroeder riding a model train around his living room during the opening credits, and I vaguely remember something about a Christams special where some dude lived in the woods in a hollowed out tree trunk and like, he didn't have a family so Rick came out to find him on Christmas day to invite him to dinner and he'd frozen to death over night. Very poignant. I remember all that, and one joke, which I never though I would ever be able to use in casual conversation but on Sunday, I was given that chance. The conversation went something like this.
PETE: The people who own this place are pretty cool. They're like Hippa-yuppies though.
Simon: What di you just say?
PETE: Hip-a-yup-pies?
Simon: I see...
Thrill: Hey wouldn't it be great if there were some way of combining those two words into one? Like Hip-pies? Or Yup-pies?
(Note: yes Will was obviously joking)
PETE (seeing my opening): It's like in that one episode of Silver Spoons where Rick and Derrick were trying to open up a restaurant and Derrick suggested combining their names and calling the place "Der-Rick's. That one really got a laugh from the studio audience...
Thrill: ...
Simon: ...
PETE: ... Wow. I can't fucking believe I just successfully analogized something to an episode of Silver Spoons.
While I'm on the topic of Silver Spoons for the first, and most likely last time, on this blog I should note that I have determined that the DVD release of the first season of Silver Spoons will mark the coming of the apocalypse. Which is why this is so frightening.
Posted by PETE 6/20/05 9:03pm
"Don't Do Speed" - Smart People
I was getting lunch and stopped at the bank and while I was depositing my pay check and some dude asked me for money for "food". So I'm thinking what the fuck, I've dropped so many bones in the last few days on myself I might as well try and do something nice so I'm like "Hey man, I'll buy you a burrito if you want." So he's like "Uh... burrito. Uhh...yeah man, okay." So we go inside and right as we get in he's like "Uh... listen man, thanks for the burrito but uh, the OTHER reason I was asking for money is, uh, I got this big bag of laundry man, in the bushes man, and I really need to do my laundry."
I'm serious... He actually suggested to be that the reason he was begging for money was because his clothes were dirty. A bum begging for money to do laundry is like Hip E. begging for money to buy condoms, or me begging for money to... buy condoms, or Shark beggin for money to... do laundry (Hey! I might be funny again!). I honestly though about stopping and saying "Okay man... we'll go to the nearest laundromat and I'll load up the machines with quarters for you." but then I thought, where's this gonna end you know? "Um... thanks man but listen... this hoodie I'm wearing is dry-clean only, man. It's my only one man and the... oh! also man, I owe Blockbuster like, uh... 20 bucks because I rented You've Got Mail and couldn't find it for like a week, man. I looked all over my box."
So anyways, I was like "Listen man, do you want the burrito or don't you? I'm not going to give you money." He's like "Okay man. Why are people like that though?" Like what? "Like... oh man not you but other people. Why are they like that?" Like what? Like they don't want to give away free money to you? It's a real mystery.
I should probably mention that right when I saw this guy I realized that he was going through intense withdrawl of meth, Sweatshirt in the 70 degree weather, shaking, etc. However, I forgot about the whole "Meth addicts can't eat anything because they'll throw it right up" until I was already going to buy the burrito. But I bought it, despite his protestations that it was "Too hot outside to eat" and I looked the other way when he stole a Sunkist Orange Soda from the cooler...
This being the third time I've tried to buy food for a "hungry" person, and also the third time that my efforts have been met with bordering on zero gratitude, I have constructed this rough guide on how to avoid the druggies and the scammers and only give money to people who'll most likely use it for food (or porn).
1 )If they really, really, REALLY beg: No. No one who lives in a major metropolitan area can't find food if they really want it. No one ever gets THAT hungry for food. This isn't Sudan. However, last I checked you usually don't find crack lying around in garbage cans, or people who will give you their left-over crack from lunch (at Chez Crack). Meth Houses don't generally throw out bags of day-old meth in the dumpster because it's a bit stale. You get my point.
2) If they say it's for bus fare: No. There isn't a Muni driver in SF who won't let crazy, dirty ass ranting bums on the bus free of charge. You see, Muni drivers hate everybody on their bus and they love nothing more than for them to be made uncomfortable by a bat-shit insane meth addicts hurling obscenities at imaginary dragons the are breathing chocolate syrup all over their new hat. Also, the bums must smell extremely bad or else they have to pay. Meanwhile they'll tell me that I can't ride the bus because I don't have a quarter AFTER I've already fed my dollar into the machine. Plus it goes without saying that by 5 pm on any given day literally 80% of the trash in any public trash can is comprised of discarded Muni transfers.
Did I mention Muni drivers make like 80Gs a year?
3) If they ask for more than 5 dollars: No. You MUST be on drugs to think I'm going to give you five dollars for nothing. Period.
4)If they ask for more than 20 dollars: HELL NO. Most of these guys aren't homeless. They're just con men with car trouble or charities to help kids in third world countries. For those guys with car trouble who need "gas money", see #2. For the guys with clip boards and "charities" well... there are plenty of other charities you can give money to without handing it over in cash to some dude outside the Fillmore.
5)If they stand outside Mel's Diner on Van Ness holding a blind person's walking stick and pretending to be blind when they can quite obviosly see: No. I hate that fucking guy. That's worse than the fake wheelchair.
Anyhow, I hope this helps.
I got like 82 more posts to write. Stay Tuned.
Posted by PETE 6/20/05 8:40pm
Come on guys...
Wow... I should really check out my own Web site more often. It seems that in my absence the Jo-Tel has been transformed into Little Green Footballs. Come on guys. I know... lets pretend that the last thing Hip E. posted was that picture of Jessica Alba. She's hot right? We can all agree on that right? As a sign of good faith, I include this picture of Eva Mendez:
Nothing political about that! Nothing at all. So listen, PUMA, how about you stop being a stranger and venture upstairs once in a while. Shark's gone for the summer, so the apartment is 33% less indie. Plus, don't you want to hear Reid's music in all it's amplified glory? And Brew-Dog, Sweet Brew-Dog. You seem to have plenty of time to agitate Hip E in our comments section, so why do you pretend you're too busy to Network? (The fat girls in DC also tell me you've got plenty of free time on your hands). At least on the Network, in between arguments about Iraq, you'll be able to catch tremendous zings such as this one:
Hip E: Dudes... we should find a sand volleyball court around here somewhere. That shit is fun.
PETE: We can just ask Johnny D to empty out his vagina in the backyard
See? That was the funniest thing I've come up with in like a month. Now lets have some Sparks.
Posted by PETE 6/20/05 7:34pm
Constructive Breaking
Constructive breaking consists of gaining entry to the dwelling of another by means of fraud, threat or intimidation, or by use of the chimney.
Posted by Shark 6/18/05 1:19pm
Senators Not Sorry About Lynching
This is pretty incredible or at least noteworthy. There are fifteen (15) U.S. Senators who refused to attach their names to a resolution apologizing for the Senate not passing anti-lynching laws earlier last century. There are fifteen United States Senators who refuse to apologize for not passing anti-lynching laws sooner!!!! What the hell is wrong with these neckasses?!?! These FIFTEEN U.S. SENATORS are at the point where they couldn't be hanging out with their black buddy, playing videogames or whatever, and say, jokingly, "Hey, by the way man, sorry about that whole 'Lynching' thing, dude." BECAUSE THEY AREN'T SORRY ABOUT IT!!!!!!!
LYNCHING!!!!!!!!!
I know we don't like to talk politics on the Jo-tel, but ..... lynching. ...... not sorry. .....
Lamar Alexander (R-TN)
Robert Bennett (R-UT)
Thad Cochran (R-MS)Kent Conrad (D-ND) *
John Cornyn (R-TX)Michael Crapo (R-ID) *
Michael Enzi (R-WY)
Chuck Grassley (R-IA)
Judd Gregg (R-NH)
Orrin Hatch (R-UT)
Hutchinson (R-TX) *
Kyl (R-AZ) *
Trent Lott (R-MS)Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) *
Richard Shelby (R-AL)
Gordon Smith (R-OR) (he's fine) *
John Sununu (R-NH)
Craig Thomas (R-WY)George Voinovich (R-OH) *
These people probably don't let their kids watch "To Kill A Mockingbird."
Posted by Hip E. 6/15/2005 9:12am
*Update
I checked Ameriblog, my source for this post, and they've updated their list. Removed Conrad, Crapo, Murkowski and Voinovich, who apparently all signed on after the fact; added Hutchinson and Kyl, and confirmed Oregon's own Gordon Smith. Did they even HAVE lynchings in Oregon? What a dipshit.
Posted by Hip E. 6/16/2005 11:36am
The Cruise is getting Killed out there
Look at this brutality:
The other night, one of my friend's 11-year-old daughter mockingly performed Cruise's "Oprah" appearance for me, jumping up and down on a couch, putting her face 2 inches away from my nose, shrieking, "I'm in love! I'm in love!" When she was finished, she rolled her eyes and said, "Yuck!"
You mean you wouldn't want to meet Tom Cruise, I asked. No way, she said. Being a loyal "American Idol" fan, she prefers a good reality show to a celebrity knockoff. "Do you know Bo Bice?" she asked hopefully, referring to the Southern rock crooner from "American Idol." "I'd like to meet him. He's much cooler than Tom Cruise."
Posted by Hip E. 6/14/2005 2:14pm
GUILTY!!!!!!!
I admit it. I ate PETE's Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Chunk out of the fridge last month. I apologize.
Posted by Hip E. 6/13/2005 2:22PM
Jackson arrives for verdict
Michael Jackson is in court ready to hear the jury's verdict in his child molestation trial. It is expected to be read soon.
This post is just to remind everyone there in future generations - Hi! - that there was once a time when everyone didn't know whether Michael Jackson got convicted or not.
Posted by Hip E. 6/13/2005 2:08pm
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I don't normally like to do this sort of thing, but - GOOD LORD, Woman!
I know, that was crass. Forgive me. It's Friday. Pic via Goldenfiddle.
Posted by Hip E. 6/10/05 4:05pm
Pliska In Portland Blogs
PP finally got a blog. He was forced to by his law school teacher. So don't swear or talk about boobs in the comments section. It's called Rehab Star, after a t-shirt he has. A t-shirt very similar to this one:
Posted by Hip E. 6/9/2005 9:13am
Tello Goes To Glamour Shots
You Jo-Tel regualrs out there probably know about all our little Jouseguest claims to 15 minute fame, but I'm going to list a few again anyhow as a matter of introduction to a new and hilarious subject. Shark is the 2005 National Moot Court Champion. Pliska routinely gets his takes read on Jim Rome's radio show, and he's a minor celebrity on Rome's message board where fat dudes in Hartford Whalers jerseys line up to caress his genitals. Hip E wrote the seminal best-of-craigslist post "Hey Crackhead". Yahoo Serious was in a mediocre 1980s comedy about a young, Australian Einstein (a smart person from Australia! That IS funny!) and so on.
Well Jouseguest Tello might have us all trumped, as he was a contestant on Fear Factor, and might I add the most re-run episode of Fear Factor in the Bay Area. It's on at least once a week. Maybe you've seen him. Pink Shorts. UCLA headband. Loses immediately. To his credit he did expect to do so, as his introductory speech isn't exactly self-confident:
"A lot of guys come on this show and talk a big game: 'I'm confident. I'm gonna win.' Not me. I'm not confident. I'm not gonna win. I'll probably be off the show before my mom even turns on the TV."
And he was! However, this turn on reality TV somehow got him some auditions for other stuff including VH1 Stripsearch where he got to give a lap dance to finest chick ever, Rachel Perry in his living room while Downs watched and probably sweated profusely. Anyhow, on his path to the inevitable Surreal Life XIII casting, he got some head shots done and well, they're fucking hilarious.
That's "head shots", not to be confused with "dome shots", which is more Mary's department (see Mary?) I love to meniton you on the blog!). Here's what I don't understand though, T: you dropped all these hostile bones on head shots when there are already so many good pictures of you that you could send to casting directors. Why not just send them...
this?
Posted by PETE 6/8/05 6:45pm
Don't Smoke Weed
In case any little kids are reading this, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Drugs are bad. I don't do drugs. mkay? Here is a testimonial:
smoke weed
I have done this. Not worth it!This ruined my life — (posted 6 weeks ago)
I was addicted from the first puff of that sweet, sweet reefer. I was doing it with my friend. He actually died instantly; his heart exploded after taking a bong hit. I survived, but I craved something stronger, a bigger rush. I moved on to opium, then heroin, cocaine, and finally I found myself in a gutter, shooting up airplane glue. Before I knew it, I was at the Multnomah County Courthouse in Portland, Oregon, getting gay married. Steve, my partner, was addicted to crack. He wanted to get an abortion. I told him, "Steve, you can’t get an abortion. You’re a man." "It’s my hot body, I’ll do what I want!" he said. That’s when I knew I had to let Jesus Christ into my life. I did, and he helped me to overcome my addictions. Now I spend ten hours per day praying and flagellating myself, and I’ve never been happier. I routinely visit Planned Parenthood clinics to encourage the whores of Babylon to stop using birth control and if they’re wearing skirts that go above the knee, to cover their shame. I’ve never felt so close to the Lord Almighty as when I’m contacting my senator to demand that he help his fellow republicans (or "God’s Sheep", as I like to call them) break down the satanic wall between church and state.
I'm going to do a post soon about why potheads need to stop hijacking the process of getting medical marijuana approved and legal and stuff. Medical marijuana and concert marijuana are two separate political issues. Both important. More later duuude.
Posted by Hip E. 6/8/2005 1:26pm
The Future ... Tomorrow!
From the NYTimes editorial on medical dope (hat tip Walloch):
"One scientific team has been trying for two years to get a mere 10 grams of marijuana from the drug abuse institute for its effort to develop a device that heats marijuana but doesn't burn it, thereby providing nontoxic and immediate relief to patients."
Uh... at my [associate]'s house they have just such a device. And it is fucking awesome. ...I've heard.
Posted by [--- -.] 6/8/2005 11:05am
When we come back, Hip E. snorts Crystal Light and gets a bloody nose...
I'm going to be unemployed in three weeks and I'm writing a blog post and listening to "Float On" on my new iPod. This is like E! True Hollywood Stories. Bring on the hookers and VD!
Posted by Hip E. 6/8/2005 10:59am
Nuh
Win Ben Stein's Marbles! (Because he's crazy)
Posted by Hip E. 6/7/05
Move On
I just got an email from one "Noah T. Winer" of MoveOn.org. This guy should be fired immediately, no matter what.
Posted by Hip E. 6/7/05 2:28pm
Sandra Day and Me
I don't know anything about constitutional law so I'll just analyze this like every other American, preacher, and politician - based on whether I like the result in a short-sighted, near-term way. Clarence Thomas is awesome!
story at NYTimes.com (subscription required - but it's free!)
(It's OK for the Feds to prosecute people who grow weed for personal medical use, even if it's legal under state law!)
Posted by Hip E. 6/7/05 9:52am
Bond Girls at the Buc?
Will and I met a girl last night named Keely Fox. That is a great fucking name, and I'm not just saying that out of bias. Now, I've tried to keep our last names off the site so the FBI can't find us... and obviously to keep our many female stalkers at bay, but I'll just say that my last name is phoenetically identical to her first name.
But that aside, Keely Fox is just an amazing name to have. "Hi. I'm Keely Fox." Having that name is like walking around with a giant, fully-automatic sass gun and when you tell people your name you just open fire and they're rendered incapacitated by the sassy bullets.
Will also informed her that Keely means "beautiful" in Gaelic, something even I didn't know. Which of course now means that her name translates to... Beautiful Fox. Incredible. And yes, she was fly. Then again, when your name is Beautiful Fox, what choice do you have in the matter?
However, the Keely/Beautiful thing got me to researchin', and I looked up what my real first name (Lawrence) means and it's "winner". So I'm a beautiful winner? Doesn't fit as well... but it's still better that being named Toon Van Asseldonk. Also, my middle name means "Son of Peter" and is evidently the fourth most common surname in Denmark. Word to my homies in Denmark I guess.
So Keely Fox, thanks for giving me this opportunity to learn about and - subsequently - write about myself. You are hot much like fire and also charcoal... Say, do you have a date to the Black & White Ball?
Posted by Winner Son of Peter Beautiful 6/3/05 6:40pm
Ladies and Gentlemen... JOHNNY D!!!!!
Around last Halloween, on a pretty epic night that I'm pretty sure went unreported in the annals of Jo-Tel history, Inga was at a costume shop and well... she saw a curious sight: right there, staring back at her from the packaging of a brown mullet wig was none other than Jo-Tel resident and Poo Expert (Wait... Hip E., didn't you take that P.E. exam too?) Johnny D!!
She stole the picture and brought it over to the Jo-Tel whereupon she began showing it to people and asking the question: "Okay... Who does this look exactly like?" to which she received a 100% return rate of "Holy Fucking Shit! It's JOHNNY D!!" Usually uproarious laughter would follow this exchange because, well, that shit was funny.
Then she showed the picture to Johnny D. "Dude, that does NOT look like me." Johnny D was angry! Grrr!
The picture went conspicuously missing from Hip E's table a few days later and we always suspected Johnny D was the culprit. But guess what? The internet is a magical place filled with wonder!
Shazzam!
I wasn't going to post this originally but when I emailed the network with the photo, Johnny D immediately unleashed the salt. I was like I was visiting the Wieliczka Salt Mines in Poland. So now I am going to post it.
Just kidding... I was going to post it anyhow. But only to impress Inga so she'll go see Patti LaBelle with me (wink).
Posted by PETE 6/2/05 6:59pm
Shaw... KAT!
Now that Lindsay Lohan looks like she belongs in a segment on Cops, I have been forced to find new hot chicks with freckles and big boobs to lust after. Enter Alia Shawkat, aka Maeby Fünke of Arrested Development, television's best show... ever?
Anyhow, as you can see she is smoking hot and also, as I just discovered today, recently of legal age... to drive. But the good news doesn't stop there! Unlike Lohan, Alia already has giant boobs at 16 which means that once she gets famous it'll be much harder for jealous girls with low self-esteem to start and/or propagate vicious rumors about her...
"Oh my God! He boobs are TOTALLY fake! How do I know? Just LOOK at them! They're big and she's famous! It's that simple! Yes that's how! Look how fake they look in this picture of her! And by 'fake' I of course mean 'bigger than mine'. Oh my God you are totally just saying that because you're in love with her and because there's absolutely zero evidence that she ever had an operation: no before-and-after shots, no visible scarring that wasn't obviously photo-shopped, and no break in her schedule of public appearences long enough for her to have recovered from the operation... but mostly because you're in love with her! God! You're so naive! Just LOOK at how big they are!"
Whatever. Don't worry, Sweet Alia. The Jo-Tel has your back... until you turn 18 and start fucking up.
Posted by PETE 6/2/05 5:49pm
The Funniest Thing The Squelch Ever Did
Back at Berkeley our student humor magazine was called the Heuristic Squelch... it was on the whole pretty hilarious. I never thought this while actually attending school, but now that I've been actively involved in the launch of another college humor magazine, and seen the sheer volume of unfunny shit editors get sent, and how hard it is to be consistently funny and high quality issue after issue and now I think I misunderestimated the H.R. Anyhow, the did a lot of funny shit but the best thing they ever did was this top ten list... and yes, this actually is THE Definitive "Funniest Thing The Squelch Ever Did." It's entirely objective...
Top Ten Best Arm-wrestling Movies Of All Time
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4. Over The Top
3.
2.
1.
Okay see... I almost died laughing while typing this. Goodnight.
Posted by PETE 6/2/05 1:06am
Tales of the ONE HITTER!!
Shark... seriously great post there. Wow. That's good stuff. Anyhow, I just saw this commercial for this breakfast shake and the last line was "Enjoy this breakfast shake in five irresistable flavors!"
So my question is this: If the flavors are irresistable... why do you need five of them?
Oh yeah...
I'm ranking that one right up there with "What if, in a parallel universe, people read books upside down. BUT, in that same parallel universe the phrase "upside down" means what it does when we say... "right side up."
Think about it...
Posted by PETE 6/2/05 12:53am
The Ten Best Albums I've Heard in the Last Six Months (12/04 - 5/05)
10. Mates of State - Team Boo (2003)
I'm really not used to liking stuff that sounds this good. Accustomed to alienation, whether incidental via the lo/no-fi approaches of bands like The Mountain Goats and GBV or intentional via the experimental excesses of - oh let's say - Deerhoof, sonorous ass shit like the twee pop from the Mates of State (a cudly married couple) becomes a difficult, instantly likeable listen. Note: This tricky 10th slot could have easily been occupied by someone like M.I.A., who I also like. But, credibility help me, I like Mates of State better.
9. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Hearts of Oak (2003)
There must have been some point in Ted Leo's rise to indie stardom (c. 2001 AD) when he invited a group of chicks to come watch one of his shows. The chicks arrive nicely late: smiley, drunk, cleavage properly arranged - to find T.L. and company are just about to take the stage (they are opening for the Voodoo Glow Skulls). First, the piercing guitar rings through the venue, then the piercing ... lead vocal? "Is that Ted? He seemed so cool? But he's screaming like a gir!" Then they surreptitiously sneak out and head to Pop Scene where drinks are cheap, pants are tight, and they'll almost definitely play that new Strokes song.
8. Chavez - Ride the Fader (1996)
Our boys will shine tonight.
7. Love as Laughter - Sea to Shining Sea (2002)
Sam Jayne's mom is probably really supportive. I can see her calling him eagerly from the suburban house phone to inform him that she has read the positive reviews for his new album, Laughter's Fifth. "Oh really Mom? I really, uh, I don't really read reviews that much," says Jayne, distracted by a piece of ass on his lap. "Yes! A 7.8 from Pitchfork Media. That's pretty good," she notes. "Sure, Mom, right, that's great. Hey Mom, I gotta go, so..." "Allight, Sam, take care of yourself." "Okay, maaaahaHA -- bye now-" <click>
6. The Books - Lost and Safe (2005)
With Lost and Safe The Books came down to Earth from the ethereal highs of The Lemon of Pink and had the audacity to give us an album full of really pretty songs.
5. Animal Collective - Sung Tongs (2004)
It's freak-folk and it's not for everyone. But to hear the discordant free-form chanting of Here Comes the Indian harnessed in the palatable and precocious melodies of Sung Tongs was, for me, an amazing thirty listens. PETE, however, informed me that the Animal Collective make the type of music that the members Jo-tel could make if we only fucked around with our imaginary instruments enough. Unfortunately, as a result of this comment, I have lumped PETE in with those annoying art novices that look at Pollack's Convergence and say, "I could do that!"
4. Deerhoof - Milk Man (2004)
I've forced P-Diddy to listen to this album so much that she's decided to like it as a strategy of self-defense.
3. Liars - They Were Wrong So We Drowned (2004)
There's one moment at the end of "Hold Hands and It Will Happen Anyway" where the villagers, thinking that they have vanquished the witches continue to cast epithets into the silence: "Cry, cry ... Die, die ..." And to think, last time we heard from this band they were writing dance punk songs. (P-Diddy actually likes this album. But I think that's only because I told her it was about witches..)
2. The Mountain Goats - Ghana (1995 - 1996; 2001)
After The Sunset Tree, it's hard to not see John Darnielle as a hero - especially when he's at his lo-fi prime, as he is here.
1. The Olivia Tremor Control - Soundtrack for the Unrealized Film Script: Dusk at Cubist Castle (1998)
Elephant 6 strikes again! The Control take 60's-era Beatles, stretch "it" out like sweet taffy on a rickety basement assembly line and inject delicious new ideas into every bubbly pour! A backwards guitar solo here, a little organ there, some autumn cars driving by on a damp, leaf-filled street, a hook or twenty-nine, maybe a few references to the California Demise (a fictional earthquake that runs through the album like a fault line), two women named Olivia (?), and a bunch of typewriters covered in green paint (ten to be exact)! Maestro, what are you doing! Too bad Hip's boycotting pop!
Editoral Comment: Although it was particularly tough to exclude AiH's inspired In Case We Die, Badly Drawn Boy's scrumtrulescent Hour the Bewilderbeast, and MF DOOM's neat Vaudville Villain, I did. For similar lists from preceding six-month spans, see the unkempt Jo-tunes site (currently scheduled for a belated yet comprehensive update 9/05).
Posted by Shark 11:09pm 6/1/05
So...
I've got some tickets to the Black and White Ball. Anyone want to go with me?
Posted by PETE 6/1/05
More Hot Shit
Comments:
From Marina Mayaud [72.89.104.40] - 8/12/06 4:22 PM
From Zoe Britton [217.132.228.90] - 8/16/05 3:59 AM
From June 2005 [24.7.57.14] - 7/7/05 2:18 AM
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 7/6/05 5:35 PM
From Gabbeh [66.171.85.86] - 7/6/05 9:18 AM
From Shark - 7/6/05 1:36 AM
What is there to argue about - Scientology rules!!!
Answer: C
From Linda [63.170.97.131] - 7/5/05 9:01 PM
Texas sounds fabulous. I hear the men have loose wallets, big feet, and never argue incessantly about Scientology.
From Inga [65.200.81.187] - 7/5/05 2:35 PM
From Reid [67.11.203.147] - 7/3/05 12:14 PM
Hello people of the republic of wherever the fuck you are right now. However, wherever you are right now, I gurantee that the great state of Texas is much more superior than your current location. Texas is an entity all of it's own. There are plenty of hot girls that enjoy being stupid and having beer and other drugs poured down their throats, and oh, did I mention that they tend to wear little clothing due to the obnoxious heat. When I venture back to the Jo-tel I plan on posting many pictures that I have taken here, but in the meantime, think of one hundred degree weather and string bikinis and lots of water and booze.
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 7/1/05 12:24 PM
From The Jo-tel [65.200.81.187] - 6/30/05 7:35 PM
From Britt [69.30.78.164] - 6/30/05 2:31 PM
From The Big Kat [67.112.196.4] - 6/30/05 2:21 PM
Shark is pissed because he is not bold. Angry, but not bold.
From Brewer [143.231.249.141] - 6/30/05 10:50 AM
Johnny Deflower and the Third World House Servants
Johnny DeLay and the Abramoffs
From John in Vietnam [203.162.3.145] - 6/30/05 10:05 AM
Johnny Delicious and the Lolly-pops
Johnny Deep Sender and the Mailmen
Johnny Durex and the Fugative Semen
so close....
and to Hip E... Nigga Please. Nigga is way, way, way different from the actual N - Word. In fact, nigga is a term of endearment accepted by leading politicians, feminists, and religious figures as well as the hip hop community at large. But you better come packin' heat if you add an -er to that word. So my advise is to be selective about the Pac songs you choose to recite; no matter your company; even if your in the shower because you never know; you never know.
From Thrill [24.7.57.14] - 6/30/05 2:51 AM
Johnny Declassified and the Government Documents
Johnny Decapitate and the Headless Horsemen
Johnny Deep Throat and the Nixons
Johnny Detain and the Drunk Tanks
From Thrill [24.7.57.14] - 6/30/05 2:47 AM
Johnny Defenestrate and the Open Windows
Johnny Deep Dish and the Pepperonis
Johnny Deregulate and the Power Companies
Johnny Delineate and the Boundaries
From Gabbeh [66.171.85.86] - 6/30/05 12:18 AM
From Brewer [208.59.163.84] - 6/29/05 11:08 PM
Johnny D-squared and the Binomials
Johnny De facto and the Segregationalists
From Hip E. [65.200.81.187] - 6/29/05 8:06 PM
Stickler - that was awesome. Thank you. If you have any more like that, we'll give you a fedora and an official Jo-tel press pass.
From gabbeh [66.171.85.86] - 6/29/05 4:02 PM
From PETE [64.81.50.140] - 6/29/05 3:36 PM
Shark, you really gotta do a better job of picking your battles. So what if the PUMA is capitalized? The PUMA is bold and in the plain-text email environment, the best way to display such boldness is with CAPS.
Would it make you feel better if we started capitalizing your name too?
From Hip - 6/29/05 2:56 PM
While we're spelling things out for the kindergarten, the reason Everyone Else made that comment is that Everyone Else but PETE didn't get to see the pics. How's that for a blame flame, Johnny D.?
We should really do a post on all Johnny D.'s names. I just remembered this; one of my favorites:
Johnny D. and the Zzzznutz
From Johnny D [24.7.57.14] - 6/29/05 12:36 AM
Realizing my mistake, I ammended my comment to include Shark in my blame flame. In hindsight, however, that IP address came from the Jo-Tel. Shark is out of town for the summer leaving only Reid, Patsy, Pete, and the Hipe. Patsy, so far as I know has no knowledge of the Jo-Tel blog, I have only seen Reid post about twice. So that leaves either the Hipe or Pete to have made the post. The photos I tried linking to were immediately sent to Pete after I realized that they were dead links... one of which garnered a post (thanks for the recognition by the way). So that leaves the Hipe. I should have directed all ire to the Hipe.
Hipe, get a job.
From Shark [128.125.81.129] - 6/28/05 11:10 PM
Strickler - nice work
Thrill, Hip E, PETE - stop irrationally capitalizing the Puma's name, people will think we capitalize letters arbitrarily, which is bad, just ask Thrill's Semester Parlay t-shirts ......
I'M JUST gonna buy booze INSTEAD of eating
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 6/28/05 2:50 PM
From Hip E. [65.200.81.187] - 6/28/05 1:30 PM
Stickler - You're in L.A.! I forgot! Dude, please let us know in this forum any time you see some good Scientology shit. You can be our man on the street. Oh, that reminds me, Salon is doing a four-part series on The Cruise and how he's recently attained OT VII and is crazy. What a wonderful world.
From Thrill [24.7.57.14] - 6/28/05 10:56 AM
From Thrill [24.7.57.14] - 6/28/05 10:53 AM
From Hip E. [24.7.61.116] - 6/28/05 4:37 AM
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 6/27/05 8:53 PM
From The Big Kat [67.112.196.4] - 6/27/05 2:31 PM
From 67.164.97.169 - 6/25/05 3:03 AM
From Hip E. [65.200.81.187] - 6/24/05 6:15 PM
From 146.197.27.16 - 6/24/05 5:48 PM
From Hip - 6/24/05 4:37 PM
Nominations for Jo-tel Nerd:
Baldwin nominates Wej
Brittany nominates Baldwin
Baldwin - you know the Wej don't Work!
From Johnny D [206.176.240.83] - 6/24/05 1:46 PM
From Johnny D [206.176.240.83] - 6/24/05 1:36 PM
From Everyone Else [24.7.61.116] - 6/24/05 12:21 PM
From Johnny D [206.176.240.83] - 6/24/05 11:21 AM
From Baldwin [146.197.27.16] - 6/24/05 11:00 AM
From Hip - 6/24/05 3:26 AM
From Shark [128.125.81.129] - 6/24/05 2:29 AM
Jack London wrote 1000 words before starting his day. Johnny D writes 1000 blank comments before going to bed.
"To Build a Fire" rules!
From Pliska in Portland [24.22.83.12] - 6/24/05 12:44 AM
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 6/23/05 11:41 PM
From Johnny D [24.7.57.14] - 6/23/05 11:09 PM
From Johnny D [24.7.57.14] - 6/23/05 11:04 PM
I have said musical software and would let you use it sometimes in exchange for personal favors.
Jack London wrote 1000 words in the morning before starting his day.
From PETE [64.81.50.140] - 6/23/05 7:50 PM
From Hip - 6/23/05 1:07 PM
From RB [64.121.69.205] - 6/23/05 1:04 PM
From Band Name: Bologna Vest [65.119.191.46] - 6/23/05 1:00 PM
First Album: Sleeveless Meat Blouse
First Single: String Cheese Trousers
(Personally, I find the Comments Section symbol for "delete column" [see below] more funny than what I just wrote)
From Hip E. [65.200.81.187] - 6/22/05 7:32 PM
From The Big Kat [67.112.196.4] - 6/21/05 3:18 PM
I know, I've just been busy recently. The last weekend I was really around was Memorial Day. I've been in SoCal two of the last three weekends and I'm going again this week (leaving Thursday morning). I'll try to make my way up there soon. I realized it's been a while when last night I had to ask Will what you've been up to.
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 6/21/05 2:58 PM
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 6/20/05 11:35 PM
From Stickler [68.66.82.50] - 6/20/05 7:33 PM
From Brewer [208.59.163.84] - 6/19/05 6:03 PM
From Thomas Jefferson [165.121.34.231] - 6/19/05 5:59 PM
From Thrill [24.7.57.14] - 6/19/05 2:37 AM
Brewer: Yes, the tension of you guys pulling the noose tight. Stop overreacting to Hip E's overreaction.
Gabbeh: neither side of my family ever owned slaves. Nice try, though.
From Gabbeh [66.171.85.86] - 6/18/05 9:24 AM
From Brewer [208.59.163.84] - 6/17/05 8:15 PM
From Thrill [72.25.90.115] - 6/17/05 7:45 PM
From Gabbeh [66.171.85.86] - 6/17/05 5:31 PM
From Shark [128.125.81.129] - 6/17/05 5:00 PM